In trying to set up a collection of homeschool goals, I needed to consider my child's strengths and weaknesses.
It sounds easy, doesn't it?
He's good at reading, but not so good at math. He's good at music, but not so good at handwriting.
But then it gets tricky. And then it gets trickier.
For example... He can grasp an author's style to the degree that he can, for example, write a novel story that sounds eerily like the work of Rudyard Kipling. Yet he can't define the main idea of the same story, and then tell you a few details. What's more, his grammar and punctuation are atrocious.
He can play clarinet at the level of an advanced high school student if he hears and repeats it, yet he can't quite grasp the nuances of reading the notes on the staff. He loves band camp where he spends five hours a day practicing, yet moans if I ask him to spend ten minutes on the clarinet.
He loves fine art, and can talk at length about the works of Monet, Van Gogh and Picasso. Yet he can tell you nothing about the period during which the artists lived, nor can he accurately explain the difference between France, Holland and Spain.
What's he good at? Where are his challenges? As a linear thinker myself, I am finding it incredibly hard to develop a meaningful answer. He's a good writer and a rotten writer... a fine musician - or not. A knowledgeable young man or an ignorant kid.
He's all of the above.
OK, then. Time to write some goals!
Showing posts with label autism homeschool. Show all posts
Showing posts with label autism homeschool. Show all posts
Friday, September 3, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Tech Tools for Teaching a Kid with Executive Functioning Problems
Tom doesn't really work well independently. He'll do what I ask - at least the first portion - but if he gets stuck or finishes a part of the process, he just.... stops. What that means is that I wind up at his elbow, saying things like "okay, what's next?" or "do you have a question?"
Often I have to go farther to prompt him with directions such as "why don't you look at the next question on the page?" or "you've written the answer, but now you need to read it out loud to figure out where the commas, periods and capital letters go." Even when we have a written list of "what to do," it can be hard for him.
The truth is, he's capable of continuing on his own. And with only the merest nudge, he does a reasonable job of proofing and correcting his writing, finishing the project, etc. In fact, Tom actually enjoys writing and doesn't dislike reading, math, or practicing his clarinet. The problem is staying on task, and thinking ahead (AKA executive function).
To help him build some independence, I'm looking at software and hardware that might provide the prompts and direction he needs - so that neither I nor a future teacher will need to sit at his shoulder to prompt him. So far, I've found some interesting software that actually prompts a writer through the brainstorming, drafting and editing process - but nothing I'm sold on yet.
A few things I'm looking at:
 |
| The TimeTimer visual clock |
Often I have to go farther to prompt him with directions such as "why don't you look at the next question on the page?" or "you've written the answer, but now you need to read it out loud to figure out where the commas, periods and capital letters go." Even when we have a written list of "what to do," it can be hard for him.
The truth is, he's capable of continuing on his own. And with only the merest nudge, he does a reasonable job of proofing and correcting his writing, finishing the project, etc. In fact, Tom actually enjoys writing and doesn't dislike reading, math, or practicing his clarinet. The problem is staying on task, and thinking ahead (AKA executive function).
To help him build some independence, I'm looking at software and hardware that might provide the prompts and direction he needs - so that neither I nor a future teacher will need to sit at his shoulder to prompt him. So far, I've found some interesting software that actually prompts a writer through the brainstorming, drafting and editing process - but nothing I'm sold on yet.
A few things I'm looking at:
- This article from Reading Rockets about assistive technology for learning disabilities
- A database called TechMatrix, which lists and reviews assistive technology for learners
- A site called ReadWriteThink which includes a whole mess of free, web-based interactives to support a range of projects including 5 para essays, persuasive essays, and more.
- Inspiration Software (graphical organizing system - ordered a freebie demo to try out)
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Planning for a New Homeschool Year
It's August, and time to plan for a new homeschooling year for Tom, our now-14-year-old with autism (actually PDD-NOS, or high functioning autism). This will be our fourth year of homeschooling, and chronologically Tom will be entering 8th grade. We're hoping that, after this year, he'll be ready to enter what we understand is a wonderful charter high school - and with that in mind, we plan to focus much more on basic academic and social skills than on content acquisition (even though he'll be immersed in all kinds of content whether he "aquires" it or not!).
Being a slightly compulsive planner, I already have most of Tom's program laid out. Like last year, he'll be taking part in two days of small group classes taught by an ex-homeschooling mom who also happens to have a teaching degree and experience in special education. These aren't "special" classes or kids, but the small size of the group combined with the expertise of the teacher make it a good opportunity for Tom. Truth is, I personally wouldn't have chosen the topics for Tom (The American Presidency, for example) since he does poorly with abstractions; in general he does much better with topics that are more limited in scope (like Ancient Egypt or Greek Myths, for example).
Jessica, the homeschool teacher, has offered to work with us on helping Tom reach specific goals. Now "all" I have to do is figure out what the goals are, break them down into objectives, and select objectives that really make sense given the setting, the other kids, and Tom's real capabilities (which are always hard to grab hold of!).
In addition to these Tues/Thurs classes which run from 9-1, here are some of my plans for the year:
More coming very soon... meanwhile, any thoughts or questions are welcome!
 |
| Tom as Pharoah! |
Jessica, the homeschool teacher, has offered to work with us on helping Tom reach specific goals. Now "all" I have to do is figure out what the goals are, break them down into objectives, and select objectives that really make sense given the setting, the other kids, and Tom's real capabilities (which are always hard to grab hold of!).
In addition to these Tues/Thurs classes which run from 9-1, here are some of my plans for the year:
- Continue with our genius of a math tutor who works with Tom on Sundays (we barter for his time, but have to travel over an hour each way!)
- Continue with our genius of a clarinet teacher, who is a whole lot closer (he's a professor at a conservatory, and an absolute jewel of a person)
- Continue with the after-school jazz band at the middle school (nervous since the wonderful and experienced band director has retired!)
- Continue with our genius of a speech/social skills therapist, who is now helping Tom to interact socially with other kids at about his age and level
- Restart tennis at a local tennis school (for reasons I can't understand, Tom seems to love and be reasonably good at tennis)
- buying a small laptop and teaching him to take notes using a keyboard (he's been learning to type on Mavis Beacon software, and he's a decent typist)
- tapping into Universally Designed software programs intended to prompt learners with LDs and other issues (much more on that soon)
- purchasing a "visual clock" that actually counts down so you can see how much time is available (Tom is still really unable to understand the concept of hours and minutes fully, though he's fine with days, weeks, months and years)
More coming very soon... meanwhile, any thoughts or questions are welcome!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
It's All About Motivation
Teaching a child with autism takes time. Lots of time.
With Tom, the issue isn't compliance. And it isn't behavior. To some degree I could say that it's about comprehension. But most importantly, it's about motivation.
Tom's happy to go out... or stay in. He's perfectly willing to do a project if we sit next to him and give him direction and support. But almost inevitably, when we step away, he's off in his own head - or back on the couch, flipping through picture books and waiting for his next instructions.
The reality is, there's no good reason for him to actively want to complete a project, read a whole book, or think of and execute something on his own. There are no peers he wants to share things with, and the idea of excelling in something for its own sake hasn't really caught on. Competition doesn't interest him. And as soon as he shows himself capable of doing something on his own (making lunch, taking a shower, and so forth), we immediately expect him to do it every time.
From time to time, we offer bribes for independent work (sometimes called "reinforcers," or "motivators."). But we've found that then the process becomes all about the prize. When we withdraw the prize reward, he's still willing to do the work - but only because we insist, support, and nudge.
I keep hearing how people with HFA and Asperger syndrome are passionately involved in their areas of interest. I see kids on the spectrum who fit this mold. But I'm still working on just how best to help my own child discover his own sense of purpose and direction.
And, meanwhile, I'm working on a skill that's eluded me for a lot of years: patience.
With Tom, the issue isn't compliance. And it isn't behavior. To some degree I could say that it's about comprehension. But most importantly, it's about motivation.
Tom's happy to go out... or stay in. He's perfectly willing to do a project if we sit next to him and give him direction and support. But almost inevitably, when we step away, he's off in his own head - or back on the couch, flipping through picture books and waiting for his next instructions.
The reality is, there's no good reason for him to actively want to complete a project, read a whole book, or think of and execute something on his own. There are no peers he wants to share things with, and the idea of excelling in something for its own sake hasn't really caught on. Competition doesn't interest him. And as soon as he shows himself capable of doing something on his own (making lunch, taking a shower, and so forth), we immediately expect him to do it every time.
From time to time, we offer bribes for independent work (sometimes called "reinforcers," or "motivators."). But we've found that then the process becomes all about the prize. When we withdraw the prize reward, he's still willing to do the work - but only because we insist, support, and nudge.
I keep hearing how people with HFA and Asperger syndrome are passionately involved in their areas of interest. I see kids on the spectrum who fit this mold. But I'm still working on just how best to help my own child discover his own sense of purpose and direction.
And, meanwhile, I'm working on a skill that's eluded me for a lot of years: patience.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Fall 2009: A New Year, A New Beginning
Last spring, we tried hard to get Tom into a local Montessori-style middle school, based at an organic farm just minutes from our house. But he just wasn't ready.
The concerns were understandable. He needed independent learning skills. He needed conversation skills. He needed collaborative skills. Those skills are just in the earliest stages right now. So -- we decided to try to teach him those skills through direct instruction and practice.
We put together a program of study that includes two full days at a homeschool resource center. That means time to work for us, and time with other kids for him. He's nervous, which is understandable, and he's talking about his concerns with his "talking and thinking coach," Kathleen. We'll also be using the Model Me Kids videos and workbooks to help him manage his social anxiety -- and, hopefully, get to the point where he can really engage with other kids in a natural way.
Today, we went for a visit to the new "non-school school," and talked with the teacher, Jessica, about his concerns. She reassured him that yes, it's okay to have and keep your pocket toys and no, you don't have to share them. It's okay to be quiet so long as you say SOMEthing (I don't know is acceptable). I THINK he's comfortable with all that!
Three days a week he's with us -- and BUSY. We're doing independent reading (found a literature reader/workbook combo which should arrive shortly). We're working on math based on the fabulous tutorial involvement of dyscalculia expert Mahesh Sharma (yes, it's over an hour away, but we go twice a month and it's worth the drive). He's continuing with clarinet AND saxophone with his wonderful music teacher, and starting a new afterschool jazz band. He's starting with Rosetta Stone Spanish. He's going to try out a new homeschool gym program.
All this overscheduling is, we hope, going to make it easier for both Tom and us. Easier for Tom because we'll have a clear, written schedule that includes time for TV and relaxing. Easier for us because both Peter and I will KNOW who's doing what, when, and how.
I'm thinking of this year as a "bye" year: if things work out, instead of starting 7th grade this year, he'll start next year -- as a first year student at the Montessori School. If it doesn't work out, we'll just think of it as a repeated sixth grade year, and move forward.
Wish us luck!
The concerns were understandable. He needed independent learning skills. He needed conversation skills. He needed collaborative skills. Those skills are just in the earliest stages right now. So -- we decided to try to teach him those skills through direct instruction and practice.
We put together a program of study that includes two full days at a homeschool resource center. That means time to work for us, and time with other kids for him. He's nervous, which is understandable, and he's talking about his concerns with his "talking and thinking coach," Kathleen. We'll also be using the Model Me Kids videos and workbooks to help him manage his social anxiety -- and, hopefully, get to the point where he can really engage with other kids in a natural way.
Today, we went for a visit to the new "non-school school," and talked with the teacher, Jessica, about his concerns. She reassured him that yes, it's okay to have and keep your pocket toys and no, you don't have to share them. It's okay to be quiet so long as you say SOMEthing (I don't know is acceptable). I THINK he's comfortable with all that!
Three days a week he's with us -- and BUSY. We're doing independent reading (found a literature reader/workbook combo which should arrive shortly). We're working on math based on the fabulous tutorial involvement of dyscalculia expert Mahesh Sharma (yes, it's over an hour away, but we go twice a month and it's worth the drive). He's continuing with clarinet AND saxophone with his wonderful music teacher, and starting a new afterschool jazz band. He's starting with Rosetta Stone Spanish. He's going to try out a new homeschool gym program.
All this overscheduling is, we hope, going to make it easier for both Tom and us. Easier for Tom because we'll have a clear, written schedule that includes time for TV and relaxing. Easier for us because both Peter and I will KNOW who's doing what, when, and how.
I'm thinking of this year as a "bye" year: if things work out, instead of starting 7th grade this year, he'll start next year -- as a first year student at the Montessori School. If it doesn't work out, we'll just think of it as a repeated sixth grade year, and move forward.
Wish us luck!
Monday, November 17, 2008
Tom and the Shaggy Dog Story
In the past few weeks, Kathleen (our wonderful speech therapist) has been doing a little bit of testing and evaluation at our request. It's been an interesting experience.
Kathleen asks Tom what the object is on the page, and Tom replies "that's just a toothbrush."
"And what do you do with a toothbrush?"
"Well, when it's bedtime I go upstairs, and then I go into the bathroom. And then I brush my teeth. And I use my toothbrush to brush my teeth."
"What goes with a toothbrush?"
"Well, when I brush my teeth I use my strawberry toothpaste."
It's the long winded approach, but it gets where it's going. But now try this on for size. Kathleen asked Tom what foods he likes to eat. We got into a conversation about trying new foods, and he said "I don't like trying new foods."
"But sometimes," I said, "you like trying new foods. Like garlic bread. You liked garlic bread."
"Yes," said Tom. "This summer we went on a whale watch. We went to Provincetown, and the waves were huge. I felt scared, and I was crying. Some people threw up!" (Here I tried to interrupt to get him back on course, but Kathleen stopped me)
"But after the whale watch," Tom went on, "we went into the town. I saw the pirate museum, and I wanted the pirate toy. But I didn't get it. But then we went to the candy store, and we went to the restaurant. And I wanted pizza. But Dad said, I have something neeew you might like. And he said try this bread. And it was garlic bread. And I liked it!"
A ha! At the very end of the shaggy dog story, there was the garlic bread - safe and sound, and really foremost in his mind after all. Who would have guessed? You'd think I would have worked it out, but today I was surprised again.
We were at Kathleen's and Tom pulled out a toy I'd never seen - a little turkey-like plastic bird. I asked where he'd got it, and he went off on a long riff about picking things up off the ground and why we don't like him to do it, and how he feels about that... and on and on...
"But Tom - where did you get THAT bird?" I asked again.
"Well, when I lived in Pennsylvania, I went to pony camp."
"Yes, you did - but - "
"And my favorite horse was Scooby. And there were lots of different animals living there. There were pigs, but they weren't pink. They sometimes got angry. And there were goats. Do you know what goats like t eat? They like crab apples. And grass. And there were sheep. The sign outside the sheep pen said 'baa baa black sheep.' And there was Fred the Rabbit. I liked to feed him. And sometimes we went inside the barn, and had lunch. And that's where I found this toy."
Now, I know I am somewhat directive in my style, which is something I have to work on. But I have to say it never occured to me in my wildest dreams that Tom's long winded, totally off-topic wanderings weren't off topic wanderings at all, but rather shaggy dog stories with a point and a purpose. I guess it just goes to show what you can learn if you stop assuming you know what's going on, and actually pay attention.
Lesson - mostly - learned.
Kathleen asks Tom what the object is on the page, and Tom replies "that's just a toothbrush."
"And what do you do with a toothbrush?"
"Well, when it's bedtime I go upstairs, and then I go into the bathroom. And then I brush my teeth. And I use my toothbrush to brush my teeth."
"What goes with a toothbrush?"
"Well, when I brush my teeth I use my strawberry toothpaste."
It's the long winded approach, but it gets where it's going. But now try this on for size. Kathleen asked Tom what foods he likes to eat. We got into a conversation about trying new foods, and he said "I don't like trying new foods."
"But sometimes," I said, "you like trying new foods. Like garlic bread. You liked garlic bread."
"Yes," said Tom. "This summer we went on a whale watch. We went to Provincetown, and the waves were huge. I felt scared, and I was crying. Some people threw up!" (Here I tried to interrupt to get him back on course, but Kathleen stopped me)
"But after the whale watch," Tom went on, "we went into the town. I saw the pirate museum, and I wanted the pirate toy. But I didn't get it. But then we went to the candy store, and we went to the restaurant. And I wanted pizza. But Dad said, I have something neeew you might like. And he said try this bread. And it was garlic bread. And I liked it!"
A ha! At the very end of the shaggy dog story, there was the garlic bread - safe and sound, and really foremost in his mind after all. Who would have guessed? You'd think I would have worked it out, but today I was surprised again.
We were at Kathleen's and Tom pulled out a toy I'd never seen - a little turkey-like plastic bird. I asked where he'd got it, and he went off on a long riff about picking things up off the ground and why we don't like him to do it, and how he feels about that... and on and on...
"But Tom - where did you get THAT bird?" I asked again.
"Well, when I lived in Pennsylvania, I went to pony camp."
"Yes, you did - but - "
"And my favorite horse was Scooby. And there were lots of different animals living there. There were pigs, but they weren't pink. They sometimes got angry. And there were goats. Do you know what goats like t eat? They like crab apples. And grass. And there were sheep. The sign outside the sheep pen said 'baa baa black sheep.' And there was Fred the Rabbit. I liked to feed him. And sometimes we went inside the barn, and had lunch. And that's where I found this toy."
Now, I know I am somewhat directive in my style, which is something I have to work on. But I have to say it never occured to me in my wildest dreams that Tom's long winded, totally off-topic wanderings weren't off topic wanderings at all, but rather shaggy dog stories with a point and a purpose. I guess it just goes to show what you can learn if you stop assuming you know what's going on, and actually pay attention.
Lesson - mostly - learned.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
When Are High Standards Too High?
In the last few days, I've had a number of reasons to wonder whether I'm holding Tommy to too high a standard.
We've had Tommy meet with a math tutor once a week, because I thought it was important to supplement TouchMath, which is calculation-oriented, with some content on number sense (focusing on the purpose of the calculations in real life, but also on non-calculation skills like graphing, understanding the concept of multiples, etc.). In conversation with our tutor, I said,
"I know Tom can multiply - but I don't think he has any idea of how to USE multiplication. I'm not even sure he fully understands that 6X3 is the same as 3X6, or the same thing as six groups of three."
"Actually," she replied, "lots of people don't understand that. I'm not sure I fully understood that until I was in high school."
REALLY?? Oh....
We went candlepin bowling, as usual on Saturday. As usual, Tom spoke to no one, and threw the ball two-handed (instead of the usual way, with one hand). He did well: around 70 points. Naturally, I wanted him to interact; to throw the ball "right;" to keep his eye on the scoring screen to know when his turn was up. In other words, I wanted him to act "normal."
But while he was doing his thing, another boy just his age was throwing a temper tantrum. I mean, a real doozy. Another boy his age was rolling the ball - and then rolling on the ground himself. These were not "special needs" kids: they were twelve-year-old boys who are NOT on the autism spectrum.
Later this week, I was talking with Tom's speech therapist.
"I just don't think he fully grasps the ideas of same and different or bigger/smaller," I said. "I mean, he can tell you three ways in which a swan is different from an eagle - but he can't tell you whether six is bigger than nine."
"But he could tell you if you put it differently. For example, if you said 'I have six toys and you have nine toys. Who has more toys?"
Hm...
She went on to ask whether Tom had trouble in changing his schedule, based on our unpredictably changing job requirements. I responded that he really didn't - he's not an especially rigid person.
"That's huge!" she exclaimed. "Most kids have a very hard time when their routine is disrupted."
REALLY? ohhhh....
Last night, my husband Peter and a local selectman put on a "star party" (observing the moon and planets through telescopes) right down town in front of the library. I stayed briefly, but the kids hung out. One man said to me "wow - I never knew Jupiter had stars around it!" "Those are moons," I replied without thinking.
Y'know, Tom knows all about the moons of Jupiter. He can also name all the planets in order, and describe each. Hm..
Today, I took Tom, Sara, and a friend of hers for a little expedition. We went to a state park, and started exploring a trail. Within about a hundred feet, we knew we weren't on a "real" trail, but both my kids saw a quarry and wanted to check it out. The friend, who is very neurotypical indeed, was scared to stray off the trail - and almost burst into tears with anxiety. As we turned back, Tom wanted to know what the problem was. Why was Sara's friend crying? All he and Sara wanted to do was explore!
Later in the day, we took another path to the "sliding rock." It's a big boulder you can climb and slide down. My kids scampered to the top and slid without thinking twice. Sara's friend wouldn't even think of climbing to such a height. A perfectly reasonable anxiety - but one Tom has never shared.
This week, I also heard from a friend of mine. She has a 13 year old who is truly the perfect kid. He's tall, handsome, a fine athlete, a brilliant student - and a really delightful human being. Not only that, but so far as I can tell he's never had a pimple! I asked how he was. "Where do I start? " she said. "Well, Joey's been diagnosed with OCD. He got to the point where his rituals took two hours a day to complete, and what with traveling soccer four days a week and advanced high school classes, he just couldn't get through everything. So now he's seeing a therapist..."
Tom is, of course, my first child. I have no close nieces, nephews or neighbor children to compare him to. All I really know, as a result, is that he's twelve, and autistic. I know that some 12 year olds can stay home alone, call friends, make their own play dates, even pick up younger siblings at friends' homes. Tom could no more do those things than fly. But he CAN... evidently... do a great many other things that are beyond the reach of his typical peers.
Who knew?
We've had Tommy meet with a math tutor once a week, because I thought it was important to supplement TouchMath, which is calculation-oriented, with some content on number sense (focusing on the purpose of the calculations in real life, but also on non-calculation skills like graphing, understanding the concept of multiples, etc.). In conversation with our tutor, I said,
"I know Tom can multiply - but I don't think he has any idea of how to USE multiplication. I'm not even sure he fully understands that 6X3 is the same as 3X6, or the same thing as six groups of three."
"Actually," she replied, "lots of people don't understand that. I'm not sure I fully understood that until I was in high school."
REALLY?? Oh....
We went candlepin bowling, as usual on Saturday. As usual, Tom spoke to no one, and threw the ball two-handed (instead of the usual way, with one hand). He did well: around 70 points. Naturally, I wanted him to interact; to throw the ball "right;" to keep his eye on the scoring screen to know when his turn was up. In other words, I wanted him to act "normal."
But while he was doing his thing, another boy just his age was throwing a temper tantrum. I mean, a real doozy. Another boy his age was rolling the ball - and then rolling on the ground himself. These were not "special needs" kids: they were twelve-year-old boys who are NOT on the autism spectrum.
Later this week, I was talking with Tom's speech therapist.
"I just don't think he fully grasps the ideas of same and different or bigger/smaller," I said. "I mean, he can tell you three ways in which a swan is different from an eagle - but he can't tell you whether six is bigger than nine."
"But he could tell you if you put it differently. For example, if you said 'I have six toys and you have nine toys. Who has more toys?"
Hm...
She went on to ask whether Tom had trouble in changing his schedule, based on our unpredictably changing job requirements. I responded that he really didn't - he's not an especially rigid person.
"That's huge!" she exclaimed. "Most kids have a very hard time when their routine is disrupted."
REALLY? ohhhh....
Last night, my husband Peter and a local selectman put on a "star party" (observing the moon and planets through telescopes) right down town in front of the library. I stayed briefly, but the kids hung out. One man said to me "wow - I never knew Jupiter had stars around it!" "Those are moons," I replied without thinking.
Y'know, Tom knows all about the moons of Jupiter. He can also name all the planets in order, and describe each. Hm..
Today, I took Tom, Sara, and a friend of hers for a little expedition. We went to a state park, and started exploring a trail. Within about a hundred feet, we knew we weren't on a "real" trail, but both my kids saw a quarry and wanted to check it out. The friend, who is very neurotypical indeed, was scared to stray off the trail - and almost burst into tears with anxiety. As we turned back, Tom wanted to know what the problem was. Why was Sara's friend crying? All he and Sara wanted to do was explore!
Later in the day, we took another path to the "sliding rock." It's a big boulder you can climb and slide down. My kids scampered to the top and slid without thinking twice. Sara's friend wouldn't even think of climbing to such a height. A perfectly reasonable anxiety - but one Tom has never shared.
This week, I also heard from a friend of mine. She has a 13 year old who is truly the perfect kid. He's tall, handsome, a fine athlete, a brilliant student - and a really delightful human being. Not only that, but so far as I can tell he's never had a pimple! I asked how he was. "Where do I start? " she said. "Well, Joey's been diagnosed with OCD. He got to the point where his rituals took two hours a day to complete, and what with traveling soccer four days a week and advanced high school classes, he just couldn't get through everything. So now he's seeing a therapist..."
Tom is, of course, my first child. I have no close nieces, nephews or neighbor children to compare him to. All I really know, as a result, is that he's twelve, and autistic. I know that some 12 year olds can stay home alone, call friends, make their own play dates, even pick up younger siblings at friends' homes. Tom could no more do those things than fly. But he CAN... evidently... do a great many other things that are beyond the reach of his typical peers.
Who knew?
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Mastering "Same" and "Different" ??!??
How can a child who is mastering double digit multiplication, who can describe earth's biomes with accuracy, who can read a full-length novel with fluency - NOT grasp the concepts of "same" and "different?"
I am grappling with this question this week - in part because I simply can't figure out whether the problem is conceptual or semantic. Obviously, Tom can tell the difference between, say, a peanut butter sandwich and a cat. He can even tell you, when asked, the differences between summer and winter, oceans and lakes, and so forth.
He knows that birds belong to the same group - and that the bird group is different from the reptile group.
When I place two equations in front of him - say 7 +2 and 2 +7 - he can handily tell you that each adds up to 9.
BUT!
When I ask him - "So - do 7+2 and 2+7 add up to the same thing?" He looks at me confused and says "I don't know... um... no."
"But - they both add up to nine."
"Yes..."
"And nine is the same thing as nine, right?"
"I don't know..."
"Look, Tom, here's 2 + 7 using the cuisinaire rods. And here's 7 +2. Can you place them one on top of the other?" (He does - and they are identical in length.)
"Are they the same length?"
"I don't know... no."
"Tom! Look at them! They are exactly the same length!"
"They are???"
"OK, I tell you what, show me two rods that are different." (He pulls out a blue and a red rod.)
"These are different."
"Yes, they are. Now show me two the same." (He pulls out two reds.)
"These are the same."
"Right. So... are these two rods (7+2) the SAME length as those two rods (2+7)?"
"Ummm...."
OK, folks, is Tom just playing dumb? Am I using the wrong words? Or is he truly not grasping what looks to me to be the most basic of concepts? SOMEthing is going haywire here!!
I am grappling with this question this week - in part because I simply can't figure out whether the problem is conceptual or semantic. Obviously, Tom can tell the difference between, say, a peanut butter sandwich and a cat. He can even tell you, when asked, the differences between summer and winter, oceans and lakes, and so forth.
He knows that birds belong to the same group - and that the bird group is different from the reptile group.
When I place two equations in front of him - say 7 +2 and 2 +7 - he can handily tell you that each adds up to 9.
BUT!
When I ask him - "So - do 7+2 and 2+7 add up to the same thing?" He looks at me confused and says "I don't know... um... no."
"But - they both add up to nine."
"Yes..."
"And nine is the same thing as nine, right?"
"I don't know..."
"Look, Tom, here's 2 + 7 using the cuisinaire rods. And here's 7 +2. Can you place them one on top of the other?" (He does - and they are identical in length.)
"Are they the same length?"
"I don't know... no."
"Tom! Look at them! They are exactly the same length!"
"They are???"
"OK, I tell you what, show me two rods that are different." (He pulls out a blue and a red rod.)
"These are different."
"Yes, they are. Now show me two the same." (He pulls out two reds.)
"These are the same."
"Right. So... are these two rods (7+2) the SAME length as those two rods (2+7)?"
"Ummm...."
OK, folks, is Tom just playing dumb? Am I using the wrong words? Or is he truly not grasping what looks to me to be the most basic of concepts? SOMEthing is going haywire here!!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Homeschool, Autism, and Time Management
When we started homeschooling this year, I decided it was time for Tom to take more responsibility for his own schedule. One of the strategies I thought we could try was a kitchen timer. We'd hand him the timer, and have him time his own breaks (our "lessons" are based more on content than on elapsed time).
Early on, we established that breaks would be ten minutes long. I showed him how to set the timer, and told him he could take the timer upstairs to his room so long as he listened for the alarm and let us know when it was time to start work again.
This worked beautifully for a few weeks. He mastered the skill of setting the alarm, and did a terrific job of letting us know it was time to get back to work.
Then, he started trying to negotiate for more time - fifteen, minutes, or maybe twenty. When we were firm, he started making the changes himself, and mentioning them to no-one.
Just yesterday, my husband Peter and I were exchanging notes, and Peter mentioned that Tom had actually reset the timer for 25 minutes... and that, since Peter had gone back to work (in his office) during the break, he really hadn't noticed the passage of time until he looked up at the clock!
At first, we commiserated, saying "how frustrating is that? We've really got to pay more attention to the time ourselves."
Then, we realized what a huge leap Tom had taken. Not only had he really, truly mastered the idea of measuring increments of time - he had also mastered the concept of RELATIVE increments of time (20 minutes is longer than 10 minutes), and he had worked out how to MEASURE a longer increment of time. Even more impressive, he had figured out how to manipulate his own schedule by SECRETLY changing the setting on the timer - a big jump in terms of "theory of mind." He knew we weren't paying attention, and that he thus had the power to make changes secretly, and change the schedule to his own benefit.
Having finally noticed the significance of this change, I then realized that he'd made other "silent" leaps that we'd essentially ignored. For example, he's decided to learn to bowl one-handed - entirely on his own - and while it's tough for him, he's persevering. He's noticing the emotions of other kids in the bowling league, and when one boy was upset we talked about the clues that showed us "upset" (red eyes, for one). Tom then remembered that HIS eyes had been red when HE'd been upset! He was also able to identify that a girl telling her friend to "shut up!" was just fooling around - because of the tone of her voice (which he was able to imitate).
Homeschool gym and "Hot Jazz" (afterschool jazz ensemble) are also a real breeze this year. Tom's joining in, paying attention, and generally connecting with the experiences being offered. While he still isn't really chatting with anyone else, he IS doing pratfalls, acting silly, taking his turn, smiling a lot - all wonderful social skills.
These changes are really pretty exciting - and seem to bode well for this year. Right now, I'm also considering a change in his clarinet teacher. He's working with a wonderful musician who was also the dean of a college music education department - and while it's good to be working hard on the basic skills of music and rhythm reading and execution, it isn't much fun. At this point, it seems to me that Tom should be focusing more on the idea of music as a way to express himself, join in with others, and generally find a place in the world - and less on sight reading and musical theory.
Early on, we established that breaks would be ten minutes long. I showed him how to set the timer, and told him he could take the timer upstairs to his room so long as he listened for the alarm and let us know when it was time to start work again.
This worked beautifully for a few weeks. He mastered the skill of setting the alarm, and did a terrific job of letting us know it was time to get back to work.
Then, he started trying to negotiate for more time - fifteen, minutes, or maybe twenty. When we were firm, he started making the changes himself, and mentioning them to no-one.
Just yesterday, my husband Peter and I were exchanging notes, and Peter mentioned that Tom had actually reset the timer for 25 minutes... and that, since Peter had gone back to work (in his office) during the break, he really hadn't noticed the passage of time until he looked up at the clock!
At first, we commiserated, saying "how frustrating is that? We've really got to pay more attention to the time ourselves."
Then, we realized what a huge leap Tom had taken. Not only had he really, truly mastered the idea of measuring increments of time - he had also mastered the concept of RELATIVE increments of time (20 minutes is longer than 10 minutes), and he had worked out how to MEASURE a longer increment of time. Even more impressive, he had figured out how to manipulate his own schedule by SECRETLY changing the setting on the timer - a big jump in terms of "theory of mind." He knew we weren't paying attention, and that he thus had the power to make changes secretly, and change the schedule to his own benefit.
Having finally noticed the significance of this change, I then realized that he'd made other "silent" leaps that we'd essentially ignored. For example, he's decided to learn to bowl one-handed - entirely on his own - and while it's tough for him, he's persevering. He's noticing the emotions of other kids in the bowling league, and when one boy was upset we talked about the clues that showed us "upset" (red eyes, for one). Tom then remembered that HIS eyes had been red when HE'd been upset! He was also able to identify that a girl telling her friend to "shut up!" was just fooling around - because of the tone of her voice (which he was able to imitate).
Homeschool gym and "Hot Jazz" (afterschool jazz ensemble) are also a real breeze this year. Tom's joining in, paying attention, and generally connecting with the experiences being offered. While he still isn't really chatting with anyone else, he IS doing pratfalls, acting silly, taking his turn, smiling a lot - all wonderful social skills.
These changes are really pretty exciting - and seem to bode well for this year. Right now, I'm also considering a change in his clarinet teacher. He's working with a wonderful musician who was also the dean of a college music education department - and while it's good to be working hard on the basic skills of music and rhythm reading and execution, it isn't much fun. At this point, it seems to me that Tom should be focusing more on the idea of music as a way to express himself, join in with others, and generally find a place in the world - and less on sight reading and musical theory.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The Ups and Downs of Owl Pellets
Great pun, eh?!
When we purchased the KONOS "attentiveness" kit, which includes a unit on birds, one big reason was that the kit contains an Owl Pellet Dissection Kit (which, it turns out, are available on Amazon!). Tom has always been fascinated with owls, and of course owl pellets contain all the "left-over" materials not digested by the bird after it gobbles its prey (eg bones, fur, etc.). We thought dissecting a pellet would be a great activity - not only because it's bird-related, but because it really builds those beginning science skills of observation and manipulation of tools.
It turned out the owl pellet was a hit - but the dissecting tools were too much for Tom at this point. That's because his fine motor skills are somewhat delayed (part of the autism, I suppose) - so that holding the pellet with pincers and then pulling it apart was tough. As a result, it was up to Dad to actually "unpack" the pellet and place it, on white paper, under a folding desktop magnifying glass.
Under the glass, Tom was intrigued to find bits and pieces of a real mouse skeleton (though his sister was completely grossed out!). We also found a huge amount of mouse fur, and other miscellaneous jetsam. Evidently, Tom was already versed in owl digestion (who knew? it was probably in a video or TV show he saw) - because he was immediately able to explain what he was looking at, why it was in the pellet, and how owls eat and then excrete their leavings.
When we purchased the KONOS "attentiveness" kit, which includes a unit on birds, one big reason was that the kit contains an Owl Pellet Dissection Kit (which, it turns out, are available on Amazon!). Tom has always been fascinated with owls, and of course owl pellets contain all the "left-over" materials not digested by the bird after it gobbles its prey (eg bones, fur, etc.). We thought dissecting a pellet would be a great activity - not only because it's bird-related, but because it really builds those beginning science skills of observation and manipulation of tools.
It turned out the owl pellet was a hit - but the dissecting tools were too much for Tom at this point. That's because his fine motor skills are somewhat delayed (part of the autism, I suppose) - so that holding the pellet with pincers and then pulling it apart was tough. As a result, it was up to Dad to actually "unpack" the pellet and place it, on white paper, under a folding desktop magnifying glass.
Under the glass, Tom was intrigued to find bits and pieces of a real mouse skeleton (though his sister was completely grossed out!). We also found a huge amount of mouse fur, and other miscellaneous jetsam. Evidently, Tom was already versed in owl digestion (who knew? it was probably in a video or TV show he saw) - because he was immediately able to explain what he was looking at, why it was in the pellet, and how owls eat and then excrete their leavings.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Homeschool Conference and the Child with Autism
Today, Tom and I took a trip to Boxboro MA, to a homeschool conference. It was an unusual type of event, run by the Family Resource Center - an organization that creates homeschooling programs with museums and other non-profits. There were all kinds of exhibitors, and all kinds of programs - and we had a great time last year. This year was more so-so, but that was partly because we had so little time (had to rush home for Sara's 4:00 bus).
Interestingly, to me, many of the exhibitors were very focused on selling us on "what boys like," on skill building, and so forth. I found myself, more than usual, aware that my child was NOT like most boys... that he ISn't a skilled engineer-in-training, or "loaded with energy," or any of the usual stereotypes. In fact, he spent a fair amount of time in the exhibit hall engaging with soft animal pelts... blech.
Not to complain, because he really did do a great job, and enjoyed the one program we did attend (weaving). But I did find myself continually looking at "cool" programs (US Constitution for Kids, Exchange City, Invention Camp, Challenger Space Programs) and saying to myself "too abstract... too group-oriented... too focused on fine motor... too this that or the other."
It feels strange, because honestly I've felt - at home - that Tom's doing a great job, developing all kinds of skills, and really progressing. Yet out there in the "real" world, where typical kids are more common than those with autism, it's still a pretty rocky road.
On the up side, I got lots of ideas - not only for homeschooling, but also for marketing my new unit studies materials!
B
Interestingly, to me, many of the exhibitors were very focused on selling us on "what boys like," on skill building, and so forth. I found myself, more than usual, aware that my child was NOT like most boys... that he ISn't a skilled engineer-in-training, or "loaded with energy," or any of the usual stereotypes. In fact, he spent a fair amount of time in the exhibit hall engaging with soft animal pelts... blech.
Not to complain, because he really did do a great job, and enjoyed the one program we did attend (weaving). But I did find myself continually looking at "cool" programs (US Constitution for Kids, Exchange City, Invention Camp, Challenger Space Programs) and saying to myself "too abstract... too group-oriented... too focused on fine motor... too this that or the other."
It feels strange, because honestly I've felt - at home - that Tom's doing a great job, developing all kinds of skills, and really progressing. Yet out there in the "real" world, where typical kids are more common than those with autism, it's still a pretty rocky road.
On the up side, I got lots of ideas - not only for homeschooling, but also for marketing my new unit studies materials!
B
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Homeschooling ParentS
It seems that 90% of the time, homeschooling is a moms-only activity. Oh, Dad might take the kids on an expedition, kick the ball around and call it PE, or work with a child on an evening activity. But by and large, day by day, it's all about mom.
In our case, it may not be 50-50 proposition, but it's closer to 40-60 than most.
It's true that I'm in charge of developing and putting together most of the curriculum materials and overall concepts. But day to day, Peter and I split things up. We can do this because we're both self-employed - which means both of us are flexible, and neither of us gets time off.
The "up" side of this arrangement is that Tom has an extraordinary education. I'm the linear teacher, dedicated to building specific skills; creating logical sequences of content; ensuring that we cover all our bases; setting up tutors and field trips. Peter is the inventive, serendipitous teacher - dipping into unexpected areas of interest because they just happen to come up. He's the one who got Tom excited about building a giant marble maze; he's the one who gets hands-on with animal skeleton and such.
The "down" side of this arrangement is that neither Peter nor I get a real break - EVER. If we're not working, we're teaching. If we're not teaching, we're maintaining the house, cooking meals, shopping, going to Sara's "back to school" night, or preparing lessons for tomorrow. Of course, not all of this is a grind: homeschooling often entails tramping the woods, combing the beaches, or going swimming! Still, though, there's no option for down time until about 10 at night.
Meanwhile, there's the anxiety related to being self-employed. On the one hand- no one employer can leave us high and dry. On the other hand - any ONE of our employers can demand attention at any moment. And, of course, you never know when a contract may dry up (one biggie suddenly got put on hold, putting our schedules into a brief freaked out tizzy!).
Tom, meanwhile, sits at the eye of our hurricane. For a kid with autism, he does surprisingly well with constantly-changing teachers and schedules. But I sometimes wonder how much time he spends wondering and worrying about what's going to happen tomorrow!
In our case, it may not be 50-50 proposition, but it's closer to 40-60 than most.
It's true that I'm in charge of developing and putting together most of the curriculum materials and overall concepts. But day to day, Peter and I split things up. We can do this because we're both self-employed - which means both of us are flexible, and neither of us gets time off.
The "up" side of this arrangement is that Tom has an extraordinary education. I'm the linear teacher, dedicated to building specific skills; creating logical sequences of content; ensuring that we cover all our bases; setting up tutors and field trips. Peter is the inventive, serendipitous teacher - dipping into unexpected areas of interest because they just happen to come up. He's the one who got Tom excited about building a giant marble maze; he's the one who gets hands-on with animal skeleton and such.
The "down" side of this arrangement is that neither Peter nor I get a real break - EVER. If we're not working, we're teaching. If we're not teaching, we're maintaining the house, cooking meals, shopping, going to Sara's "back to school" night, or preparing lessons for tomorrow. Of course, not all of this is a grind: homeschooling often entails tramping the woods, combing the beaches, or going swimming! Still, though, there's no option for down time until about 10 at night.
Meanwhile, there's the anxiety related to being self-employed. On the one hand- no one employer can leave us high and dry. On the other hand - any ONE of our employers can demand attention at any moment. And, of course, you never know when a contract may dry up (one biggie suddenly got put on hold, putting our schedules into a brief freaked out tizzy!).
Tom, meanwhile, sits at the eye of our hurricane. For a kid with autism, he does surprisingly well with constantly-changing teachers and schedules. But I sometimes wonder how much time he spends wondering and worrying about what's going to happen tomorrow!
Birds of a Feather: Homeschool Birds Unit
Tom has an obsession with finding and collecting junk. Whether it's a pen cap or a straw wrapper, he feels the need to pocket it. First, it was just a need to collect "stuff." Then, through floortime, he developed the ability to give every tiny piece of trash a purpose and meaning. The scrap of busted balloon turned into a rainhat for a toy lizard. The bent paper clip became part of a contraption. This was fine for a while... until we opened a couple of drawers and discovered a magpie's nest of TRASH!
Last year, we developed the idea of focused trash collecting. We told Tom he could pick up red, white and blue trash, to be used in the creation of a "found art" representation of an American Flag. We painted a piece of plywood black, drew an outline of a flag in chalk, and started gluing. We entered the flag in the Barnstable County Fair 4-H art exhibition - and it won a prize!
This year, we started out by collecting feathers. Thanks to Tom's eagle eye, we found quite a variety, including the soft downy kind that help birds stay warm and the big, waterproof kind that cover wings.
Then, following some ideas suggested in the KONOS bird unit, we explored our feather collection. Peter (my husband) and Tommy sorted them, and compared them to photos. Peter had Tom use a magnifying glass to look closely at the quills and barbs, and a spray bottle to wet the feathers and watch the water roll off. Tom also drew the feathers and labelled the various parts.
Last year, we developed the idea of focused trash collecting. We told Tom he could pick up red, white and blue trash, to be used in the creation of a "found art" representation of an American Flag. We painted a piece of plywood black, drew an outline of a flag in chalk, and started gluing. We entered the flag in the Barnstable County Fair 4-H art exhibition - and it won a prize!
This year, we started out by collecting feathers. Thanks to Tom's eagle eye, we found quite a variety, including the soft downy kind that help birds stay warm and the big, waterproof kind that cover wings.
Then, following some ideas suggested in the KONOS bird unit, we explored our feather collection. Peter (my husband) and Tommy sorted them, and compared them to photos. Peter had Tom use a magnifying glass to look closely at the quills and barbs, and a spray bottle to wet the feathers and watch the water roll off. Tom also drew the feathers and labelled the various parts.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Homeschool Gym at the YMCA
We started homeschool gym again this fall, and it's even better than before - both for Tom, and for me. Instead of creating two separate groups of homeschoolers (older/younger), the Y went with one larger group. As a result, we have about 10 kids enrolled, ranging in age from abou 7 to 13. Being homeschoolers, they're less intense... less competitive... and more interesting than your average kiddos. Same goes for the moms!
Homeschool gym is a sort of substitute for ordinary school gym, only much more interesting. Kids spend about an hour in gym-type activities - but in this case they include things like... ultimate frisbee, rock climbing - things you might actually WANT to do. No "president's fitness test" here. After the first hour, you get changed and get a 1/2 hour swim lesson follow by free swim (including time on the water slide!).
One of the nicest things that happened this time around is that a woman I know locally brought her autistic 11 year old to join the group. This is a boy who, I thought, might have a tough time. Certainly his mom was concerned. But lo and behold, he had a terrific time! Not only did he join in as he could, but no one said a word (beyond encouragement) when he chose NOT to join in.
This mom thought perhaps the fact that the instructors were men might have made a difference. I suspect she's right. Tom, who has NEVER cared for group sports, jumped right into soccer (of all things!). He ran, kicked, and even threw the ball back in when it went out of bounds. His pratfalls were also a hit: everyone giggled when he "hit the wall" and pretended to slide down to the floor!
Homeschool gym is a sort of substitute for ordinary school gym, only much more interesting. Kids spend about an hour in gym-type activities - but in this case they include things like... ultimate frisbee, rock climbing - things you might actually WANT to do. No "president's fitness test" here. After the first hour, you get changed and get a 1/2 hour swim lesson follow by free swim (including time on the water slide!).
One of the nicest things that happened this time around is that a woman I know locally brought her autistic 11 year old to join the group. This is a boy who, I thought, might have a tough time. Certainly his mom was concerned. But lo and behold, he had a terrific time! Not only did he join in as he could, but no one said a word (beyond encouragement) when he chose NOT to join in.
This mom thought perhaps the fact that the instructors were men might have made a difference. I suspect she's right. Tom, who has NEVER cared for group sports, jumped right into soccer (of all things!). He ran, kicked, and even threw the ball back in when it went out of bounds. His pratfalls were also a hit: everyone giggled when he "hit the wall" and pretended to slide down to the floor!
Friday, September 12, 2008
The Trumpet of the Swan - Right in Our Backyard
Our first unit study this year focuses on birds. It's a great subject for Tom, because he's always been fascinated by owls, penguins, puffins... and he really enjoys watching birds, even in his own backyard. I've also been amazed at how well he can identify bird calls. I looked for a unit study on birds and found quite a few - but none seemed to include all the elements we wanted. One of the best, though, is the Konos bird unit - which includes some great activity ideas along with one hands-on item: an owl pellet for dissection!
To start out with, though, we decided to read The Trumpet of the Swan by E.B. White. It's a wonderful classic, and is terrific for vocabulary, narrative and character. What's more (and I had forgotten this), the protagonist, Sam Beaver, is surprisingly similar to Tom in many ways.
Having read the first few chapters of the book, in which Sam is sitting quietly on a rock with his field glasses, watching the swans swim around a pond, we went for a nature hike. The idea was just to enjoy the lovely weather and collect a few feathers.
Well, here is Tom - sitting on a rock, using his binoculars, and watching a swan on the lake! Turned out there were actually THREE swans on this little lake... amazing!
To start out with, though, we decided to read The Trumpet of the Swan by E.B. White. It's a wonderful classic, and is terrific for vocabulary, narrative and character. What's more (and I had forgotten this), the protagonist, Sam Beaver, is surprisingly similar to Tom in many ways.
Having read the first few chapters of the book, in which Sam is sitting quietly on a rock with his field glasses, watching the swans swim around a pond, we went for a nature hike. The idea was just to enjoy the lovely weather and collect a few feathers.
Well, here is Tom - sitting on a rock, using his binoculars, and watching a swan on the lake! Turned out there were actually THREE swans on this little lake... amazing!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
RDI and Homeschool...?
Is Tom doing well - or not so well? The answer is yes.
In the past year, he's come a huge way in terms of academics, engagement, self-esteem, and willingness to suggest and try new things. He's much more independent in certain ways, too: he's now getting dressed and brushing his teeth on his own - and one day, when he was hungry, I heard him tell Sara "let's get our own breakfasts." Indeed, they did: he got himself cereal with milk and a glass of juice!
Tom has also been successful in typical situations that would once have required 1:1 shadowing. He bowls on a team; plays clarinet in an ensemble; takes typical tennis lessons. He swims like a fish, and can take part in quite a few carefully selected homeschool programs. In the grocery store he automatically helps out with finding items, placing items from the cart onto the counter, bagging, and even carrying bags to the car and from the car to the house!
He's great in most public places. He handles restaurants beautifully, reads and orders from a menu, waits nicely in lines (much better than most kids). He's way beyond most 12-year-olds in his ability to engage with and learn from museums, aquariums, zoos, and gardens. He enjoys classical music, and can discern the different instruments by ear.
On the other hand...
Tom has yet to make a friend. He's absolutely terrified (I THINK that's the problem!) of interaction with peers, and often interacts with adults only when he's completely in control of the interaction or when there's an obvious yes/no response.
His thinking skills are adequate for many tasks, but he's still unable to even use most abstract terms. The other day he called me a liar - and I was upset until I realized that the terms "truth" and "lie" are still somewhat hazy for him. As a result, more complex ideas like "freedom," "justice," etc. are way beyond him.
He can describe something in concrete adjectival terms - it's green, it's fat, and it's soft. But, for example, if I ask "why do you like that book," he'll simply tell me the plot. I repeat the question and he might say "I like the pictures," or "I like the part when the boy does X." But he's really not able to look at the entire book and derive a "big picture" answer to the question (I love adventure stories and this is great adventure story, for example).
He has a terrific imagination, and can come up with a thousand ways to talk about his imaginary friend Lizard and Lizard's world. But generally speaking his stories are one-dimensional and lack coherence: he'll say "Lizard has a friend who's a lion. The lion comes to Lizard's restaurant and Lizard cooks him meat. The lion has some friends, and they like to do XYZ." Great ideas, but really just a setting and a starting place - and without lots of help, he can't actually develop a story about these characters and settings.
He's amenable to doing many different things, and is willing to go along with a wide range of activities. But when he's asked what HE wants to do, or left to his own devices, he falls back on TV and books over and over again. Even when we're right in the middle of doing something that he loves, he wants to know "what are we going to do next?" And while I used to think this was just an expression of a need for structure, I now know that it's code for "can I watch TV soon?"
He's able to complete certain tasks on his own with minimal prompting, but only when they're always the same (get dressed, for example). When there are variables (even variables that he fully understands and has mastered), he finishes one step and then waits or wanders off - assuming that someone will come along and tell him what to do next (or not, which is even better).
The fact that we can now see strengths and weaknesses, and point directly at both, is huge - a great leap from "he's got issues." But the question of how in the world to address those weaknesses has been really gnawing at me. How do you push a child to want to take responsibility for his own actions; help a child to think well; motivate a child to want to interact with peers and others beyond a nod?
A number of people I respect have suggested RDI might be a good direction at this point, and I've started learning more about it and talking with a semi-local consultant. My frustration is that it's like going back to school (with all my copious free time!!) - and it also requires Peter to do the same. On the other hand, the idea of having someone to help us set goals, devise techniques for meeting the goals, integrate the goals into homeschool, and so forth is very appealing indeed.
More on this as we learn more... meanwhile, if you're a homeschooling RDIer - what's your thought? Is it worth the time, money, and effort to work with a consultant? Can we get what we need in a less strenuous way? Is this something we should pursue, or should we just work with local therapists and social skills coaches?
Power By Ringsurf
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Pirates... ARGH!
Today we went on a pirate adventure. I'd had my eye on this family excursion for several years - and figured it was now or never!
Tom and Sara point to landmarks shown on the treasure map.
Aut-2B-Home
Power By Ringsurf
Tom and Sara point to landmarks shown on the treasure map.
Tom demonstrates that X marks the spot.
Bad guy pirate having a water fight with our brave crew.
Dangerous Dan the pirate hauls up the "buried" treasure, which was marked with a floating X
Tom watches as Sara holds up the key to the treasure.
If anyone reading this blog happens to be in Hyannis, MA during the summer, make a point of checking out the Pirate Adventure ship on Ocean Dock. This probably isn't for every kid on the autism spectrum - but for us, it was an absolutely terrific experience.
The boat is a real boat, outfitted like a pirate vessel. The pirates are three charming Irishmen (according to them, Irishmen make the best pirates!). The experience was timed down to the minute - and not only were the kids, ages 2-12, engaged for the entire hour and a half, but they also learned something about maps, points of the compass, landmarks... and water cannons.
The boat took off exactly on time, but since we had been asked to turn up half an hour early there was time to choose a pirate vest and get a painted-on "tatoo." On board, the "pirates" immediately provided the kids with clear rules and directions that kept them focused and on task ("all hands on deck" means gather in the bow and put your hands on the floor; "look out positions" means stand on low benches along the rail and look out to sea; and so forth).
There was a storyline that involved real, honest-to-goodness experiences - a "bad" pirate on a sailboat who was squirted with cannons but later was taken aboard as his ship had begun to "sink." A real "treasure" that was found with the aid of a legitimate map of the area. Real flags to be raised and lowered.
Tom, at 12, was the oldest child on the boat - and by far the tallest. But that really didn't matter. He was a little anxious with so many kids around (maybe 20 kids), and not quite sure what to make of the squirting water. But overall he was engaged, took part in almost every aspect of the adventure, and talked about it with real understanding afterwards. Sure, he got overexcited here and there - but wow, what a great time.
I think it was the combination of clear structure, kind actors, and the intrinsic interest of the experience that made it work for Tom. Put it on your list if you're on the Cape anytime soon!
Power By Ringsurf
What's So Scary About Saying "Hi?"
At the beginning of the summer Tommy, having tried tennis at the YMCA, decided he wanted to take lessons. We have a terrific local tennis facility, and Scott, the son of the owner (who is also an instructor) said he'd be glad to work with Tom. So far, so good - Tommy is having a good time in his private lessons, and he's really coming along!
But.
Yesterday, he and I were at the tennis facility watching sister Sara in her group lesson. I was chatting with Tom, asking him whether he, too, might soon be ready to learn in a group. He got quite upset at the idea, and explained that he JUST wanted to play with Scott. He didn't want any groups, and he didn't want to play with anyone else.
I asked why.
"Because other kids might want my toys!"
"But, Tommy, you don't play with toys on a tennis court. Just balls and racquets!"
"They might say hi to me!"
"Yes, they might. Is that ok?"
"NO!"
We went back and forth on this, me explaining that ALL you have to do when someone says "hi" is say "hi" back - and you're done! No need for long conversations - especially on a tennis court, where you're far apart from one another anyway. Finally, in frustration, I told Tom that at some point he would HAVE to play with other people besides the pro, because we just couldn't afford to give him private tennis lessons for the next ten years! Either that, or quit tennis.
He made it clear that he did NOT want to quit.
I have some ideas for scaffolding tennis - perhaps I'll ask the pro about a teenager who'd be willing to play with Tom as a paid "buddy;" maybe I'll pay for some semi-private lessons with Sara... but that's not really what's bothering me.
My question is - what's so scary about saying "hi"? Is it the possibility that someone might then take the conversation to the next step and say something like "what's your name?" Is this social anxiety (a psychological issue) or is it just a feeling of uncertainty (something we can address through social stories and practice)?
When we do practice social interactions, by the way, the result is the same: Tom acts as if I'm a new kid he's anxious about, and refuses to interact! Great method acting, but not especially helpful in the long run...
Aut-2B-Home
Power By Ringsurf
But.
Yesterday, he and I were at the tennis facility watching sister Sara in her group lesson. I was chatting with Tom, asking him whether he, too, might soon be ready to learn in a group. He got quite upset at the idea, and explained that he JUST wanted to play with Scott. He didn't want any groups, and he didn't want to play with anyone else.
I asked why.
"Because other kids might want my toys!"
"But, Tommy, you don't play with toys on a tennis court. Just balls and racquets!"
"They might say hi to me!"
"Yes, they might. Is that ok?"
"NO!"
We went back and forth on this, me explaining that ALL you have to do when someone says "hi" is say "hi" back - and you're done! No need for long conversations - especially on a tennis court, where you're far apart from one another anyway. Finally, in frustration, I told Tom that at some point he would HAVE to play with other people besides the pro, because we just couldn't afford to give him private tennis lessons for the next ten years! Either that, or quit tennis.
He made it clear that he did NOT want to quit.
I have some ideas for scaffolding tennis - perhaps I'll ask the pro about a teenager who'd be willing to play with Tom as a paid "buddy;" maybe I'll pay for some semi-private lessons with Sara... but that's not really what's bothering me.
My question is - what's so scary about saying "hi"? Is it the possibility that someone might then take the conversation to the next step and say something like "what's your name?" Is this social anxiety (a psychological issue) or is it just a feeling of uncertainty (something we can address through social stories and practice)?
When we do practice social interactions, by the way, the result is the same: Tom acts as if I'm a new kid he's anxious about, and refuses to interact! Great method acting, but not especially helpful in the long run...
Power By Ringsurf
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Any Advice on Bikes and Autism...?!!
Tom never really learned to ride a tricycle. In past years, we used a "tagalong" attached to an adult bike, and that worked reasonably well. Now that he's 12, I've used a rented tandem... but at $25 for a half day it's a pretty pricey option.
I decided to try to teach him to ride a bike.
He agreed.
We tried on grass. He fell. The grass was wet. He melted down completely.
We tried on a tennis court. He fell. He didn't even scratch a pinky. He melted down completely, burst into tears, stamped his feet, and ran away.
Now, we COULD try training wheels - but with a 5 foot tall 12 year old??
We COULD quit, but we have a 12-mile long bike trail going in just down the road, and it'll be a fabulous route through tidal marshes, woods, cranberry bogs... I am NOT going to miss out on that, and I want Tom to enjoy it too.
Any thoughts much appreciated!
Aut-2B-Home
Power By Ringsurf
I decided to try to teach him to ride a bike.
He agreed.
We tried on grass. He fell. The grass was wet. He melted down completely.
We tried on a tennis court. He fell. He didn't even scratch a pinky. He melted down completely, burst into tears, stamped his feet, and ran away.
Now, we COULD try training wheels - but with a 5 foot tall 12 year old??
We COULD quit, but we have a 12-mile long bike trail going in just down the road, and it'll be a fabulous route through tidal marshes, woods, cranberry bogs... I am NOT going to miss out on that, and I want Tom to enjoy it too.
Any thoughts much appreciated!
Power By Ringsurf
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Whale Watch - Yikes!
We've been on whale watches here on Cape Cod for the past two summers, and they were WONDERFUL! So when we were gifted a freebie whale watch off Provincetown this summer, we were all psyched up. The weather was "iffy," but after driving over an hour and seeing glimpses of sun peeking out, we climbed aboard the little boat with high spirits.
Now, the folks at the ticket office DID say it was a bit rough out there - and they DID offer dramamine. But they did NOT tell us "if you stand on top of the boat you will be utterly soaked because we are heading into 4-6 foot waves!" Naturally, we hadn't brought towels or new clothes (nor did anyone else) - and it was a helluva ride.
Lucky for us, we all have pretty tough stomachs. But of the four of us only Tom truly, truly HATES fast amusement park rides and roller coasters. And this was like an hour-long roller coaster ride with no way off! The poor kid was panicked and in tears almost all the way out... and we were stuck outside because there was NO WAY we'd be able to make it down the stairs without killing ourselves.
Finally, we got out to the Stellwagon banks, where the whales feed. Lucky for everyone, a lovely humpback decided to perform for us - doing full-body leaps out of the water, rolls, and flipper waves. But in the past we'd stayed out on the banks for 45 minutes or so, observing lots of whales. This time, just the one. Tom did tearfully watch and say "it's cool" - he really is a huge whale fan.
The way back, fortunately, was smoother. And, though we're not ABA parents we DID offer a big reward to both kids for great behavior. By the time we were back on shore, Tom was totally over his fears and all was right with the world. The sun had come out, and we watched the gorgeous dunes and light houses slide past...
An amazing thing, how Tommy can absolutely freak out one minute, and be over it the next... He talked about it a bit later, but in fact - at soon as the waves ceased, his anxieties did too.
Power By Ringsurf
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