The Frustrations of a Busy Schedule

We've been busy, Peter and I... and it shows in Tom's homeschooling experience.

When we first got started with homeschooling, I had a steady gig... we had health insurance on the COBRA plan... and there's was plenty of time to create unique study units based on Tom's personal interests.

We explored Cape Cod; took field trips from Bourne to Provincetown.

We went to Boston museums on a regular basis, and checked out many of the homeschooling programs and events offered throughout the whole area.

We used the woods, the lakes and the beach as our classroom... we took on complex art projects and even went on a whale watch.

All that wonderful creative activity has gone up in a puff of smoke, though, as we struggle to keep our financial ducks in a row.

The steady gig disappeared in a budgetary implosion. COBRA dried up. "Guaranteed" markets I'd relied on for years no longer exist... and many "sure thing" gigs suddenly decided the money wasn't available to outsource. It takes most of our time, energy and hard work just to keep the work coming in and going out in a timely manner.

That doesn't mean Tom isn't learning: he certainly is! He's now with a group of homeschoolers twice a week, giving him the opportunity to learn social and collaborative skills (and us the chance to get some work done!). At home, he's working on critical academics: reading comprehension, long-form writing, mathematics, computer skills. And of course there's still music.

But it's not the wonderful, fun, free exploration we started with... and I miss it.

The funny thing is, Tom rarely seems to feel he's missing out. Sure, he'd love to get to the art museum - but it's by no means an obsession. In fact, he seems perfectly happy with our much-more-predictable but much duller day-to-day schedule.

Can't help but wonder whether all the creative, open-ended activity we were doing was more for me than for Tom??

Homeschool and Autism: New Skills for Learning

According to the mythology, kids with autism are absolutely fanatical about legos, K'nex, computers and video games. Not so Tommy. In the past, he'd stuff his legos into his piggy bank until it was so full that nothing could be removed... or build "contraptions" with bits of legos and string, and carry them around in his pockets.

This Christmas, though, he received the K'Nex Roller Coaster - hundreds of tiny pieces, dozens of pages of diagrams, and an amazing payoff: a working electrical roller coaster. Together with Dad, Tom actually built the thing - and it works! It's a huge step forward for him, and may be - in part - a result of working on hands-on collaborative projects with a homeschool resource center.


In addition to building and experimenting, each member of Tom's homeschool group of 9 kids or so learned about and reported on an explorer. Tom picked Hiram Bingham, discoverer of Macchu Pichu (in Peru). In the photo below he is making his presentation to the group!

Our next challenges are biggies. We're taking on executive functioning skills, social interactions, and reading comprehension on a higher level (beyond who, what, where and when - we're now looking at "why," and "what does it all mean?").

Fall 2009: A New Year, A New Beginning

Last spring, we tried hard to get Tom into a local Montessori-style middle school, based at an organic farm just minutes from our house. But he just wasn't ready.

The concerns were understandable. He needed independent learning skills. He needed conversation skills. He needed collaborative skills. Those skills are just in the earliest stages right now. So -- we decided to try to teach him those skills through direct instruction and practice.

We put together a program of study that includes two full days at a homeschool resource center. That means time to work for us, and time with other kids for him. He's nervous, which is understandable, and he's talking about his concerns with his "talking and thinking coach," Kathleen. We'll also be using the Model Me Kids videos and workbooks to help him manage his social anxiety -- and, hopefully, get to the point where he can really engage with other kids in a natural way.

Today, we went for a visit to the new "non-school school," and talked with the teacher, Jessica, about his concerns. She reassured him that yes, it's okay to have and keep your pocket toys and no, you don't have to share them. It's okay to be quiet so long as you say SOMEthing (I don't know is acceptable). I THINK he's comfortable with all that!

Three days a week he's with us -- and BUSY. We're doing independent reading (found a literature reader/workbook combo which should arrive shortly). We're working on math based on the fabulous tutorial involvement of dyscalculia expert Mahesh Sharma (yes, it's over an hour away, but we go twice a month and it's worth the drive). He's continuing with clarinet AND saxophone with his wonderful music teacher, and starting a new afterschool jazz band. He's starting with Rosetta Stone Spanish. He's going to try out a new homeschool gym program.

All this overscheduling is, we hope, going to make it easier for both Tom and us. Easier for Tom because we'll have a clear, written schedule that includes time for TV and relaxing. Easier for us because both Peter and I will KNOW who's doing what, when, and how.

I'm thinking of this year as a "bye" year: if things work out, instead of starting 7th grade this year, he'll start next year -- as a first year student at the Montessori School. If it doesn't work out, we'll just think of it as a repeated sixth grade year, and move forward.

Wish us luck!

Bird Tracks (and others) In the Sand

As part of our birding unit, Tom and I went to the local beach with a camera at lowish tide to see what we could find in the way of bird tracks. As you can see, we found a lot more than we counted on! In addition to tracks, we also discovered (on the tidal marsh side of the road) a whole colony of what I believe are fiddler crabs: crabs that dig holes, and have one huge claw. Mighty cool indeed.

Once we found and photographed these tracks, I cut and pasted them into a word document. Then I added lines beneath each photo, and asked Tom to write captions.

So... can you figure out what made all these tracks? Any ideas about what was going on?

Bird Beaks

Sara (our public-schooled nine-year-old) had a rotten cold one day, so she stayed home with Tom - and had a grand time being homeschooled. Truth is, homeschooling really is a bit tougher than school-school (higher expectations and more supervision!), but on the other hand it's often a lot more fun.

On the day she stayed home, we were planning a "bird beaks" lesson based on the recommended activity in the KONOS curriculum. It involved finding household items that resemble various different kinds of beaks, and foods (or non-foods) that resemble tasty bird treats - and then experimenting to figure out which kind of beak (and bird) works best with which food item.

We made spaghetti to simulate worms and used peanut butter to stand in for mud... found some unpopped popcorn for seed... tossed some uncooked rice on a plate to be bugs... and so forth. The kids had a great time with tongs, tweezers, and other "beaks," trying to grab each type of food. As they decided which type of food went with which type of beak, we then looked through our bird guides to find real-life examples of the birds, beaks, and food.

Tweezer-shaped beaks work well to pick up seeds like popcorn.

The EyeWitness Birds Book is a great image resource

Which beak works best to grab worms?

Sara learns how tong-shaped beaks work!

Hands-On Homeschool Birding at the Audubon

To round out our Birds Unit, I thought we should take a trip to the Audubon Society and get a "real" birding experience. I called - and lo and behold, they were happy to put together a two-hour homeschooling experience for us and other local homeschooling families. Moral: it can't hurt to ask! About 12 families turned up, ranging in age from about 4 to 14.

We got an hour of indoor instruction (feathers under a microscope, mix and match food and bird game, exploration of birds and their beaks). Tom was distracted by an exhibit of eggs and skeletons, but managed to tune in to check out an owl feather under the microscope.

Following the indoor presentation, we hiked a bit around some ponds (just a few birds here and there) and then walked down to a fabulous spot on the tidal marsh facing Sandy Neck (a strip of pristine beach that sticks out into Cape Cod Bay). We had a chance to try out a real spotting scope and watch osprey on their nest - but the real highlights were the crabs and insects we discovered right next to the boardwalk!

Spotting osprey through the scope at Longpasture Audubon in Barnstable.

Bird feathers up close and personal.

Be jealous! This is the view from the Audubon to Sandy Neck, a pristine beach that juts out into Cape Cod Bay.

Owl feather (I think!).

This is just part of a fabulous group of horseshoe crab molts we found on the salt grass in the tidal marsh. We brought home four!

Week One - Homeschool Opens

On Tuesday, Sara took the bus to school for her first day of third grade. Peter, Tommy and I followed in the car, and saw her safely connected with her teacher and classmates before waving good-bye. Next, we got a cup of something each at the local coffee shop, and then headed to Staples for homeschool supplies.

We picked up a few items - velcro for our new schedule cards, magazine racks, a weekly and monthly dry-erase calendar, pencils, and so forth. More importantly, we bought a big crate in which to put all of last year's materials (including wall art, timelines, and poster presentations). It was time to clear the decks for a new year.

After all the old stuff was off the walls and stowed away, Tom and I made a list of all the categories of activities we had in mind for the year. Then we put a number next to the category to indicate how often we'd do each activity per week (Reading - 5, and so forth). Then we made up the right quantity of cards for each activity. This year, we decided to color-code - so we could find the cards more easily. So reading and writing are pink, math is green, etc. Lastly, we put velcro patches on the back of each card, so that it could be mounted on our schedule.

This chart is just a large piece of foam core, along with colored 3X5 backed with velcro. We put together a schedule every week - and often shift things around as needed.

Once that was complete (and we'd had lunch), we started filling in our monthly and weekly calendars. My hope is that, by using all these scheduling tools, Tom will get a better sense of how time flows, and how to think about and schedule activities and projects. Of course, in week one things were pretty loosey goosey - but starting next week, lots of outside activities will start up, and the calendar will become more complex.

These Dry-Erase calendars make it easy for us to see what's coming up - and for Tom to get a better sense of how time flows, and how to think about planning ahead.

We stuck the calendars up on the sliding doors (too little wall space for a homeschool, really...), and then figured out our schedules for Wednesday, Thursday and Friday (knowing a cousin would arrive on Friday afternoon!).

The space was all ready - and, it being the first day of homeschool, it seemed to me we'd done enough. So we set off for a "nature hike" down to the harbor. I stuck a baggie in my pocket, keeping in mind that we're starting our Birds unit - and lo and behold, we found several feathers to stow away for the future.

Ready for Day One, Year Two Homeschool

We're getting ready.

I've written up our plan for the school district and submitted it according to regulations. So far, no response - but I figure no news is good news.

We've got all our Touchmath books ready to go. Our tutor hasn't given us a time yet - but it's early days, right?

We've got our first novel picked out for reading: "The Trumpet of the Swan" by EB White. I picked it out to go with our unit on birds (and, to be honest, because A - I have my own copy and B- EdHelper has a literature review unit on it that I can just print and use for reading comprehension, vocabulary, and spelling!).

I've got a lot of writing materials set up - though I suspect we'll go slow on writing to start with. I want to get Tom going on keyboarding, and though we have a new software program to teach keyboard, NONE of us has tried it yet!

Our first multidisciplinary unit is on Birds. I'm using the KONOS birds kit as a jumping off place, but I suspect we'll get quite creative. To start with, we'll do a KWL (what we know, what we want to know, what we learned) chart, and we'll use it as a tool for planning. Meanwhile, I'm trying to get either Mass Audubon or a local birding group to offer an "intro to birding" for a group of homeschoolers... so far, nothing. I have an Eyewitness video on birds and am just about to get hold of a few books and other resources. We'll go search for feathers; take photos of birds in the area; probably investigate bird families...

We've also signed up for candlepin bowling... homeschool gym at the Y (though I'm not sure it'll meet...), and we're waiting to hear about clarinet lessons and ensemble options. Of course we'll continue with speech therapy too... and perhaps start implementing some RDI elements into our program. Certainly I want to give Tom more responsibility for managing his time and getting more independent - I'm thinking that just giving him a timer and creating a schedule on paper (in addition to the velcro schedule) will help.

In reading this over, I realize that I'm taking on an awful lot - and there's an awful lot still up in the air. But I'm not too freaked out ... YET! After all, this is pretty much what we were doing last year, and it worked out just fine... And if it's too much, we can always scale back.

Not sure if this is a plus or a minus, but it seems that I'm really excited about learning about all this new stuff. I can't wait to learn how to go birding... how to paint like Monet... or to design my own totem pole. Hmm... Who is this homeschool program supposed to be for, anyway?!!

Aut-2B-Home
Power By Ringsurf

Searching E-Bay for Homeschool "Stuff"

I turned in my plan for Tom's homeschool program last week... it's similar to last year's, with a few exceptions. Here's the bare outline (much more to come):

Math - Upper Level Touchmath + weekly tutoring
Reading - List of 6th grade novels; reading comprehension with Edhelper.com
Writing - Eclectic - Writing Strands, Edhelper materials, etc.
Music - Clarinet (and possibly piano) lessons, some kind of ensemble program
Art - Mostly built into unit studies
PE - Tennis, bowling, hiking, cycling
Units (history/geog/science) - Birds, Impressionism, Ancient Egypt, Ancient Greece, North/South Poles, Water, The American West, Sound/Music

We (Tom and I) were lucky enough to discover a discounted cuisinaire rod set, a set of science materials and a KONOS kit with all kinds of cool stuf inside, and it inspired me to search Ebay for homeschool goodies. I've already ordered a pile of videos - but am surprised at how little seems to be available that's anything like the KONOS box. Somehow, I expected homeschoolers to be out there creating amazing kits full of wonderful art materials, science stuff, explorations... But it all seems to be books, software and videos with an occasional lapbook or something added for good measure.

For all you veteran homeschoolers out there - what's great?? And what's especially great for a kid who needs lots of inspiration when trying to stay on task doing anything with his two hands? I'm collecting Usborne and DK books and videos... using Edhelper and Enchanted Learning online, and of course making good use of all kinds of local programs, events and resources. But with all that, I'm kinda feeling uninspired, and hoping to find some great hands-on kits.

Am I missing something terrific??

Aut-2B-Home
Power By Ringsurf

"Does He Ever Warm Up?"

Today we took a trip to the Cape Cod National Seashore for Junior Ranger program. It was a perfect day, and there was a terrific group of homeschoolers ready to learn. This seemed like a great opportunity for Tom, who loves the beach, loves critters, and loves museums (like the one at the Visitor Center).


Here's Tommy, helping to measure an animal track as part of the program:

This is the kind of photo that makes me realize how easy it is to make a child appear "typically developing" (or "recovered") as opposed to "autistic."

You can clearly see how well Tom (at the left) is cooperating with a peer in an age-appropriate activity. He's measuring, discussing tracks and tracking...

But in fact, he's doing it entirely on his own. Even the friendliest overtures from the boys he worked with led to real anxiety... which in turn led to some pretty snippy responses ("no, I DON'T want to trade measuring tapes!").

It made it all come home for me when the boy with the cast (on the right) asked me quietly - "does he ever warm up?"

Money and Autism - How Do You Make the Connection?

This weekend, for the first time, I took the kids Yard Saling. It being Memorial Day weekend on Cape Cod, there were pickings aplenty, and I told the kids they could buy just one thing at each sale.

At the first house, we found a terrific tub of stuffed toys; each child picked one out and spent a quarter apiece.

At the second house, though, there were few worthwhile items... Tom decided, though, that he HAD to buy something - and picked out a jigsaw puzzle in a plastic baggie. Now, Tom has never, ever put together a puzzle, nor has he shown any interest in puzzles. What's more, there wasn't even an interesting picture on a box to grab his imagination. He just wanted to spend his money.

I nixed the deal. One second later, he had dissolved in tears. He told me I had done a wrong thing to him, and hurt his feelings, and that he was very very angry. Naturally, I got angry too, and ordered both kids into the car.

Despite all the frustrations, though, we still followed the sign to "just one more" flea market. There, we found several great buys - including a bag of toys that really were just right for Tom, and a $5 bicycle for Sara! I also picked up an almost-new blanket for Tom's bed, since his old blanket was falling apart.

The next day, Tom had earned a dollar for helping around the house and he was desperate to spend it on something... anything. Again we stopped at a Flea Market. Again it was basically a collection of junk. Again I told him "no," and again he dissolved in tears.

It seems to me that money SHOULD offer a wonderful opportunity for homeschooling around math, culture, values, and so forth. But for most kids the idea of saving for one big thing holds a lot of fascination. For Tom, even the tiniest object - a 50 cent plastic toy at Walmart - is just as exciting as, say, a Wii or an X-Box. There's no point in saving if there's nothing to save FOR - and no point in putting your money away if a broken pen is an object of desire.

We've tried allowances and earning, and of course he's glad to get the cash. He's allowed to go on a "shopping spree" with the money at hand for his birthday, and we do a subtraction exercise to keep him on track.

But overall, his sense of the value of money is ... zero. He can count change, but the IDEA of a dollar means very little. He can price a toy, but sees no difference in relative value. Since he prizes things that are valueless to others, he can collect an infinite amount of "valuable" junk for no money at all.

So far, I can't come up with any clever ideas for making money matter to Tom... nor can I envision him becoming savvier about relative values of objects since everything and nothing is all the same to him.

Any thoughts?!

Making Model Railway Trees from "Old Man's Beard"

This is an absolutely amazing technique that Tommy and my husband, Peter, developed for making trees for a model railway. It helps, of course, that we live on Cape Cod - where the moss called "Old Man's Beard" is everywhere. But if you have a similar moss available, you've got to give this technique a try.

You need:

1. twigs


2. plenty of Old Man's Beard Moss


3. glue


4. hammer and nail


5. base in which to stand your trees (we have a papier mache mountain, part of our model railway)

Here's what you do:

1. dip the twig in glue


2. glue a tuft of moss to the twig


3. allow to dry


4. use nail and hammer to punch a hole in your base (of course, if the base is cardboard you won't need the hammer)


5. Put the twig into the hole


6. Put a little more glue around the outside of the hole

You're done!

Here are pix:

Arts and Crafts: A "Native American" Loom

This winter, we focused on colonial America and the Wampanoag indians. I can't say all the readings and maps were a huge hit, but we did create a home made "native american" loom which Tom used to make a mini-blanket -- and THAT was a surprisingly successful idea. As you may know, kids with autism aren't known for their fine motor skills, and Tom's drawing and handwriting attest to that. But in this case, interest overcame potential frustrations!

We used a process described below (you'll find it on EdHelper) - and Tommy stuck with the project for several days until it was complete. Later, we visited a local arts center, and he was fascinated by a full-scale loom that "lives" there. To follow up, I've made a date to visit the weaver's studio!

In this picture, Tom is starting to create his loom with the help of speech therapist Kathleen Florance.

Cutting slits to make the loom

Weaving

The final product: a blanket for "Kitten"

Partial Instructions From EdHelper.com

2) Cut a 5" by 8" piece of cardboard for each student. Mark short lines a half inch apart
along the 5" wide section on the top and bottom. Draw a line one half inch in from
the top and bottom. Cut slits at the marks. (see photo) The loom can be made
slightly larger for older students, or if the student wishes to make a pouch. The
finished fabric will be about 1" shorter and 1" narrower than the size of the loom.

3) Thread the warp. Take a piece of yarn and put it into a slit at one corner, leaving a
3"-4" piece of yarn on the back of the cardboard, you can tape it into place if needed.
Bring the yarn down the front of the cardboard piece and into the slit at the bottom.
Then bring it back up in the slit next to it. Now bring the yarn back to the next slit on
the top edge of the loom, put it into the slit. Bring it back to the front using the slit
next to it, and so on. The warp yarn should be pulled snug as it is being threaded,
but not so snug that it bends the cardboard.

4) Cut some cardboard rectangles 2 inches by 1 inch wide to make shuttles for the
yarn. Wrap a 3 ft to 6 ft piece of yarn around the shuttle. Then begin weaving by
gently pulling up on every other thread and passing the yarn beneath it. Then head
back again, making sure to go under every warp thread that has a thread over it. At
the end of each row, tug on the yarn gently only, or the warp yarns will get pulled out
of place. Also after each row is complete, push the yarn up snug against the
previous rows.

5) When changing colors of yarn, simply weave the end of the yarn into the design, and
then start a new color.

6) When getting to the bottom inch of the weaving, the yarn can no longer be wound on
the shuttles, and will simply need to be woven with fingers. Continue to push the
yarn up snugly against the previous rows.

7) Remove the weaving from the cardboard. There will be loops at either end. A dowel
or stick can be threaded through the loops to make a hanging, or the threads can be
gently redistributed to fill in the loops. This is part of the reason why they need to be
pushed snugly against each other during the weaving.

Next Steps: Planning for Spring

I'm starting to feel a bit more confident about my planning abilities... though there's still SO MUCH to learn. A few ideas:

Tom's a very concrete thinker, and we need to spend some time on colonial America/Native Americans. These are fairly concrete topics, but a little "heady" so I'm combining the two into one six week program of study. I'm trying to focus on what/where/when content as opposed to "what is religious freedom" content (though getting a little bit in there) :

• maps/geography (from Enchanted Learning),
• readings with comprehension questions and writing prompts (from Edhelper),
• hands-on activities (indian weaving; colonial crafts);
• a few field trips (Plimoth Plantation, and probably Sturbridge Village).
• The plan is to go to the Wampanoag Pow-wow in the summer.

We've already attended a presentation by a Wampanoag educator at the local children's museum (though quite honestly I think Tom got almost nothing out of the experience; I think it was too "talky" and there were too few hands-on opportunities).

For math, we're just continuing with Touchmath, and adding in some hands-on activities and the like that I've picked up from various sources. Right now we're working through the second grade curriculum: word problems and multiplication. I'm also supplementing with pages of add/subtract problems.

Reading will continue with novels of interest; just finished James and the Giant Peach, and we're about to start Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. I'm hoping we can do a Laura Ingalls book as well (he doesn't know the story, but it fits in so well with American history!).

For writing, I think it's time to get more serious about organizing thoughts. I've downloaded a trial version of Kidspiration Software (concept mapping), and we'll see if that helps. If not, we can try more basic outlining... need to get him to move from stream of consciousness to the idea of real communication, and that's going to be a real process. If we can get there, though, it'll be WELL worth it!

For arts: continuing with clarinet and piano (I'm looking for simplified versions of sheet music for selections from Little Einsteins -- found Fur Elise, but that's the only one so far!). He and his Dad visited the Boston Museum of Fine Arts, and I'm guessing we'll go back for a program. And... we are planning our very own homeschool art show! (wish us luck...)

Science will get serious with units upcoming on The Human Body (also health, of course), and Oceans -- later in the spring.

What do you guys think? Thoughts/suggestions welcome!

Biography Fair!

We learned through the web that our local homeschool community was going to have a "biography fair," and it sounded like a great way to exercise Tom's special interest in certain picture book authors. His favorites are Eric Carle and Ezra Jack Keats -- but his most favorite EVER picture book writer is Robert McCloskey (Make Way for Ducklings, Blueberries for Sal, etc.).

The fair was a simple concept: each kid picks a person and creates a trifold poster about that person. Then they turn up, set up the poster, and wander around.

We spent a lot of time on the web finding pix of book covers, info about McCloskey, and more pix of the ducklings at Boston Garden; the swan boats; blueberries. We "recreated" the cover of the book Time of Wonder, and Peter and I constructed a moving sailboat (Tom made the sailboat, we did the engineering). It is SO tough to have a kid do all the work, especially when it's going to be a presentation, and truth is... we just didn't have the whatever it is we needed to stand back and just watch...

Hopefully, that's ok?!

Toughest part of the project was writing about McCloskey himself, and about his books. Tom's inclination at this point is to tell everything he knows about anything he's asked about. As a result, you get an entire retelling of each story (no "main idea"), and long narrative about watching a video about McCloskey, and going to Maine, and going to the top of a mountain and looking at the islands, and you could see this and that... I had him narrate, and helped him organize his thoughts - but I know a lot of the process was outside his capabilities at this point.

Anyway - went to the fair, and he did a WONDERFUL job telling folks about his work, looking at others work, and passing out the Valentine's candies we'd brought. We even got a certificate for being a part of the event.

Best, of all, a photographer was there -- and Tom got his picture taken for the local news website!

What Makes a Friend?

A while back, I noted that Tommy had really connected with the two boys with whom he was taking a mediocre writing/math homeschool class. Well, I think I was wrong.

It's not that he actively DISlikes the kids. But both have their issues (on is fairly severely autistic), and I have a bad feeling that they remind him of the kids in his old class. The boy with autism has gone through a lot of ABA, and he is bound and determined to make Tommy his friend by tellin him what to do and how to do it. Tommy, who always appears more "autistic" among other folks with autism, climbs into his shell and simply pretends he's not there.

After the class, he'll say the boy is his friend. Well, that's what he said about all the kids in his class. It took ages to get out of him that he frankly didn't like several of them - and had no great love for ANY of them!

Last week, we went out to lunch after class - and happened to meet up with the more typical boy and his mom. Tom, who is usually the first to open his menu and choose a meal, seemed incapable of handling or reading a menu... unable to carry on even a basic back and forth dialog... or speaking intelligibly to the waiter.

It was like he'd lost five years of skills.

Of course, he was fine shortly after. But what was THAT all about?! Peter says he thinks this little group is dragging Tommy backwards. I'm afraid he's quite right.

Reaching Tommy: The Benefits of Including Others in the Homeschool Journey

If you had asked me just a few months ago, I would have told you that Tommy hates playing games. He hates board games. He hates sports-type games. He even hates being coached to improve his skills. His dad and I have tried, over and over again, to engage him in ordinary backyard baseball, soccer, frisbee.... no luck. His sister can't get him to play a game of Uno to save her life.

So how come, just yesterday, a couple of instructors at the YMCA were able to get him to spend a solid hour and a half learning to use a tennis racquet, catch a football, throw a frisbee - and practice the crawl, breast stroke, and back stroke? And how come, after all this hard work, Tom turned to me and said of the two young men - "Mike and Eric are awesome?!" This, by the way, was all part of a perfectly ordinary "homeschool gym" class, offered weekly for about $40 for a 6 week session.

I didn't even know he knew the WORD awesome!

It just goes to show what I've said all along: this "mommy instinct" stuff is for the birds. No, I DON'T know exactly what my son needs, how he needs it, how to implement it, and how to "make him better." On the other hand, I'm pretty good at getting directions to the YMCA off google maps... and I did a pretty impressive job of finding a clarinet teacher who could get the best out of him while also having fun!

So... it's not so much instinct as training and perseverance... and, I guess, a willingness to get out of the way sometimes.

Homeschooling Two?!

Today we had a snowy day, and Sara (Tom's 8 year old NT sister) was home for the day. So we tried homeschooling both of them together.

Reading was no problem - we just had each read aloud to us from books they're involved with (James and the Giant Peach for Tom; Spiderwick for Sara).

But then I thought I'd do some read-aloud reading comprehension exercises with the two of them, taking turns asking them for answers. It was amazing: Tom really had relatively little problem coming up with a credible "main idea" for a paragraph - while Sara was totally lost. He was also quick at getting meanings of words from their contexts - another thing that, in theory, he should have found tough. Sara quickly teared up, got upset, and then ceased to even try.

Then we went to math. There, Sara shone and Tom had trouble - and it was very hard to get Sara to STOP and let her brother take a turn. I noticed that he slipped very quickly into his "if someone else will do the work, why should I pay attention?" mode - and basically stopped listening or attending at all! I was having them count up straws (pretending they were cookies) and then give the same number of cookies to each of five kids (represented by cups). Sara instantly understood that she was to give each "kid" 4 "cookies." Tom, who I'm sure COULD have understood, just turned his brain off!

I'm obviously NOT ready to homeschool both of my kids! What's interesting to me, though, is that Tom only goes into his "I dunno" mode when Sara is standing by to do the work. Sara, though, frustrates to the point of tears with or without Tommy around.

Not quite sure what makes her NT and Tom ASD... except the fact that Sara "gets" people, while Tom lives inside his head much of the time. Is ASD and "daydreamer" the same thing??

Perspective-Taking and the Written Word

In the last few days, I've asked Tom to do several "perspective-taking" writing projects. It turns out this is remarkably easy for him - especially given that kids with autism are supposed to have a TERRIBLE time with perspective taking. Hm. Maybe it's easier for him to take the perspective of fictional characters than of real people?

The first project was a little piece describing the experiences of Mike Teavee, a character in Charlie and the Chocolate factory. No prob. Tom immediately plunged himself into Mike's P/V, and wrote in the first person about his adventures. It seemed clear that he could have written a good deal more if he'd narrated rather than physically wrote - but he did squeak out a few paragraphs (we're still working on what a paragraph IS, so he needed some help with that). He also needed some prompting to get out the details (what does Mike like best? etc.).

The second project was a letter to James of James and the Giant Peach, offering James ideas on how to get his aunts to treat him better. With NO prompting, Tom wrote a lovely note explaining that James should get away from those aunts and go to New York City! Again, he had a lot more ideas that could have been included had he been narrating versus writing.

He's a good writer.

Now the question is - do I work on grammar and structure? Detailed story-telling? Perspective-taking in real life? Typing versus handwriting? Do I let him narrate while I type? ALL of the above?!!

Or... do I back off of writing (since he's already pretty good, after all) - and focus extra time on math, social skills, fine and gross motor (his weaknesses)? If only the answers were clear cut!

When Imagination Meets A Brick Wall

People with autism perseverate. I'd never heard the word before Tommy came along - back in the olden days we called it "spinning your wheels," "talking about the same thing over and over," or just plain "being boring."

At first, Tom's perseveration was not really contentful. He'd recite scripts from TV shows... recite poems... or just talk gibberish.

Now, he's really quite imaginative, and I KNOW I should appreciate it. Usually I do! Today, though, I am bored, bored, BORED with Tom's imaginary world.

We're working on a unit about Massachusetts history, and recently traced the path of the Mayflower from "old" to "new" Plymouth. Tom is trying to find a way to turn Massachusetts history into a story about his favorite old pal, Lizard.

Tom: "Lizard has a Mayflower."
Me: "What do you mean? You mean a real Mayflower boat?"
Tom: "Yes, he has a real Mayflower boat, and he sails it with his friends."
Dad: "Tom, the real Mayflower isn't around anymore. It sailed more than 400 years ago!"
Tom: "What happened to the Mayflower?"
Me: "I think it sank."
Tom: "Lizard's Mayflower didn't sink."
Me: "Tom, can't we talk about something real, just for a minute?"
Tom: "OK, OK - the real Mayflower was 400 years ago and it sank in the sea. NOW can we talk about Lizard?"
Me: "Oh, Tom, can we NOT talk about Lizard for a while?"
Tom: "I WANT to talk about LIZARD!"
Me: "I'm going to clear the dishes!"

Now, honestly, this is a pretty great and impressive conversation. It shows that Tom really did understand that the Mayflower was a real ship... that it carried pilgrims to American... that it sank... and that's HUGE! And I know - a good autism Mom would encourage that conversation, build on his interests, and help him get beyond perseveration to real symbolic language and conversation.

But the truth is - Lizard is starting to bore me.

Lizard's always here. ALWAYS. And love him as I might, he gets... a little dull. Lizard has everything. He is all things to all people. He's a great reptile. He even has his faced carved on a mountain (Tom sculpted Lizard's face out of clay and stuck it onto the model mountain he and Dad are building for the model railway). Lizard has a golden palace... a giant hotel... a white and gold train, a sailing ship, a racecar, a restaurant, a playground... you get the picture.

Lizard is the ultimate good guy (unlike his pal Sid, the Skeleton, whose job is to whack badguys in scary, brutal ways).

Lizard is the Superego, Sid is the Id. And Tom's working on finding his own place.

It's not that I don't appreciate Lizard. But I think I need a break.

Tomorrow I'll work on finding more ways to let Lizard come out and play - and help Tom learn math, care about history, and explore literature. Maybe we'll even invite Sid to come out and whack a few baddies.

For tonite, though, it's ENOUGH! Lizard, take a nap!