Tech Tools for Teaching a Kid with Executive Functioning Problems

Tom doesn't really work well independently.  He'll do what I ask - at least the first portion - but if he gets stuck or finishes a part of the process, he just....  stops.  What that means is that I wind up at his elbow, saying things like "okay, what's next?" or "do you have a question?" 

The TimeTimer visual clock

Often I have to go farther to prompt him with directions such as "why don't you look at the next question on the page?" or "you've written the answer, but now you need to read it out loud to figure out where the commas, periods and capital letters go."  Even when we have a written list of "what to do," it can be hard for him.

The truth is, he's capable of continuing on his own.  And with only the merest nudge, he does a reasonable job of proofing and correcting his writing, finishing the project, etc.  In fact, Tom actually enjoys writing and doesn't dislike reading, math, or practicing his clarinet.  The problem is staying on task, and thinking ahead (AKA executive function).

To help him build some independence, I'm looking at software and hardware that might provide the prompts and direction he needs - so that neither I nor a future teacher will need to sit at his shoulder to prompt him.  So far, I've found some interesting software that actually prompts a writer through the brainstorming, drafting and editing process - but nothing I'm sold on yet.

A few things I'm looking at:

• This article from Reading Rockets about assistive technology for learning disabilities
• A database called TechMatrix, which lists and reviews assistive technology for learners
• A site called ReadWriteThink which includes a whole mess of free, web-based interactives to support a range of projects including 5 para essays, persuasive essays, and more.
• Inspiration Software (graphical organizing system - ordered a freebie demo to try out)

 I've also bought something called a TimeTimer - a visual clock that, I'm HOPING, will help Tom to think about and organize time - and even stay on task!  Tom's SLP (who's also a social skills coach) has used it with him effectively, so I'm thinking it may be a useful tool at home.

The Ups and Downs of Owl Pellets

Great pun, eh?!

When we purchased the KONOS "attentiveness" kit, which includes a unit on birds, one big reason was that the kit contains an Owl Pellet Dissection Kit (which, it turns out, are available on Amazon!). Tom has always been fascinated with owls, and of course owl pellets contain all the "left-over" materials not digested by the bird after it gobbles its prey (eg bones, fur, etc.). We thought dissecting a pellet would be a great activity - not only because it's bird-related, but because it really builds those beginning science skills of observation and manipulation of tools.


It turned out the owl pellet was a hit - but the dissecting tools were too much for Tom at this point. That's because his fine motor skills are somewhat delayed (part of the autism, I suppose) - so that holding the pellet with pincers and then pulling it apart was tough. As a result, it was up to Dad to actually "unpack" the pellet and place it, on white paper, under a folding desktop magnifying glass.

Under the glass, Tom was intrigued to find bits and pieces of a real mouse skeleton (though his sister was completely grossed out!). We also found a huge amount of mouse fur, and other miscellaneous jetsam. Evidently, Tom was already versed in owl digestion (who knew? it was probably in a video or TV show he saw) - because he was immediately able to explain what he was looking at, why it was in the pellet, and how owls eat and then excrete their leavings.

Homeschool Gym at the YMCA

We started homeschool gym again this fall, and it's even better than before - both for Tom, and for me. Instead of creating two separate groups of homeschoolers (older/younger), the Y went with one larger group. As a result, we have about 10 kids enrolled, ranging in age from abou 7 to 13. Being homeschoolers, they're less intense... less competitive... and more interesting than your average kiddos. Same goes for the moms!

Homeschool gym is a sort of substitute for ordinary school gym, only much more interesting. Kids spend about an hour in gym-type activities - but in this case they include things like... ultimate frisbee, rock climbing - things you might actually WANT to do. No "president's fitness test" here. After the first hour, you get changed and get a 1/2 hour swim lesson follow by free swim (including time on the water slide!).

One of the nicest things that happened this time around is that a woman I know locally brought her autistic 11 year old to join the group. This is a boy who, I thought, might have a tough time. Certainly his mom was concerned. But lo and behold, he had a terrific time! Not only did he join in as he could, but no one said a word (beyond encouragement) when he chose NOT to join in.

This mom thought perhaps the fact that the instructors were men might have made a difference. I suspect she's right. Tom, who has NEVER cared for group sports, jumped right into soccer (of all things!). He ran, kicked, and even threw the ball back in when it went out of bounds. His pratfalls were also a hit: everyone giggled when he "hit the wall" and pretended to slide down to the floor!

The Trumpet of the Swan - Right in Our Backyard

Our first unit study this year focuses on birds. It's a great subject for Tom, because he's always been fascinated by owls, penguins, puffins... and he really enjoys watching birds, even in his own backyard. I've also been amazed at how well he can identify bird calls. I looked for a unit study on birds and found quite a few - but none seemed to include all the elements we wanted. One of the best, though, is the Konos bird unit - which includes some great activity ideas along with one hands-on item: an owl pellet for dissection!

To start out with, though, we decided to read The Trumpet of the Swan by E.B. White. It's a wonderful classic, and is terrific for vocabulary, narrative and character. What's more (and I had forgotten this), the protagonist, Sam Beaver, is surprisingly similar to Tom in many ways.

Having read the first few chapters of the book, in which Sam is sitting quietly on a rock with his field glasses, watching the swans swim around a pond, we went for a nature hike. The idea was just to enjoy the lovely weather and collect a few feathers.


Well, here is Tom - sitting on a rock, using his binoculars, and watching a swan on the lake! Turned out there were actually THREE swans on this little lake... amazing!

Ready for Day One, Year Two Homeschool

We're getting ready.

I've written up our plan for the school district and submitted it according to regulations. So far, no response - but I figure no news is good news.

We've got all our Touchmath books ready to go. Our tutor hasn't given us a time yet - but it's early days, right?

We've got our first novel picked out for reading: "The Trumpet of the Swan" by EB White. I picked it out to go with our unit on birds (and, to be honest, because A - I have my own copy and B- EdHelper has a literature review unit on it that I can just print and use for reading comprehension, vocabulary, and spelling!).

I've got a lot of writing materials set up - though I suspect we'll go slow on writing to start with. I want to get Tom going on keyboarding, and though we have a new software program to teach keyboard, NONE of us has tried it yet!

Our first multidisciplinary unit is on Birds. I'm using the KONOS birds kit as a jumping off place, but I suspect we'll get quite creative. To start with, we'll do a KWL (what we know, what we want to know, what we learned) chart, and we'll use it as a tool for planning. Meanwhile, I'm trying to get either Mass Audubon or a local birding group to offer an "intro to birding" for a group of homeschoolers... so far, nothing. I have an Eyewitness video on birds and am just about to get hold of a few books and other resources. We'll go search for feathers; take photos of birds in the area; probably investigate bird families...

We've also signed up for candlepin bowling... homeschool gym at the Y (though I'm not sure it'll meet...), and we're waiting to hear about clarinet lessons and ensemble options. Of course we'll continue with speech therapy too... and perhaps start implementing some RDI elements into our program. Certainly I want to give Tom more responsibility for managing his time and getting more independent - I'm thinking that just giving him a timer and creating a schedule on paper (in addition to the velcro schedule) will help.

In reading this over, I realize that I'm taking on an awful lot - and there's an awful lot still up in the air. But I'm not too freaked out ... YET! After all, this is pretty much what we were doing last year, and it worked out just fine... And if it's too much, we can always scale back.

Not sure if this is a plus or a minus, but it seems that I'm really excited about learning about all this new stuff. I can't wait to learn how to go birding... how to paint like Monet... or to design my own totem pole. Hmm... Who is this homeschool program supposed to be for, anyway?!!

Aut-2B-Home
Power By Ringsurf

Pirates... ARGH!

Today we went on a pirate adventure. I'd had my eye on this family excursion for several years - and figured it was now or never!

Tom and Sara point to landmarks shown on the treasure map.

Tom demonstrates that X marks the spot.

Bad guy pirate having a water fight with our brave crew.

Dangerous Dan the pirate hauls up the "buried" treasure, which was marked with a floating X

Tom watches as Sara holds up the key to the treasure.

If anyone reading this blog happens to be in Hyannis, MA during the summer, make a point of checking out the Pirate Adventure ship on Ocean Dock. This probably isn't for every kid on the autism spectrum - but for us, it was an absolutely terrific experience.

The boat is a real boat, outfitted like a pirate vessel. The pirates are three charming Irishmen (according to them, Irishmen make the best pirates!). The experience was timed down to the minute - and not only were the kids, ages 2-12, engaged for the entire hour and a half, but they also learned something about maps, points of the compass, landmarks... and water cannons.

The boat took off exactly on time, but since we had been asked to turn up half an hour early there was time to choose a pirate vest and get a painted-on "tatoo." On board, the "pirates" immediately provided the kids with clear rules and directions that kept them focused and on task ("all hands on deck" means gather in the bow and put your hands on the floor; "look out positions" means stand on low benches along the rail and look out to sea; and so forth).

There was a storyline that involved real, honest-to-goodness experiences - a "bad" pirate on a sailboat who was squirted with cannons but later was taken aboard as his ship had begun to "sink." A real "treasure" that was found with the aid of a legitimate map of the area. Real flags to be raised and lowered.

Tom, at 12, was the oldest child on the boat - and by far the tallest. But that really didn't matter. He was a little anxious with so many kids around (maybe 20 kids), and not quite sure what to make of the squirting water. But overall he was engaged, took part in almost every aspect of the adventure, and talked about it with real understanding afterwards. Sure, he got overexcited here and there - but wow, what a great time.

I think it was the combination of clear structure, kind actors, and the intrinsic interest of the experience that made it work for Tom. Put it on your list if you're on the Cape anytime soon!

Aut-2B-Home
Power By Ringsurf

What's So Scary About Saying "Hi?"

At the beginning of the summer Tommy, having tried tennis at the YMCA, decided he wanted to take lessons. We have a terrific local tennis facility, and Scott, the son of the owner (who is also an instructor) said he'd be glad to work with Tom. So far, so good - Tommy is having a good time in his private lessons, and he's really coming along!

But.

Yesterday, he and I were at the tennis facility watching sister Sara in her group lesson. I was chatting with Tom, asking him whether he, too, might soon be ready to learn in a group. He got quite upset at the idea, and explained that he JUST wanted to play with Scott. He didn't want any groups, and he didn't want to play with anyone else.

I asked why.

"Because other kids might want my toys!"

"But, Tommy, you don't play with toys on a tennis court. Just balls and racquets!"

"They might say hi to me!"

"Yes, they might. Is that ok?"

"NO!"

We went back and forth on this, me explaining that ALL you have to do when someone says "hi" is say "hi" back - and you're done! No need for long conversations - especially on a tennis court, where you're far apart from one another anyway. Finally, in frustration, I told Tom that at some point he would HAVE to play with other people besides the pro, because we just couldn't afford to give him private tennis lessons for the next ten years! Either that, or quit tennis.

He made it clear that he did NOT want to quit.

I have some ideas for scaffolding tennis - perhaps I'll ask the pro about a teenager who'd be willing to play with Tom as a paid "buddy;" maybe I'll pay for some semi-private lessons with Sara... but that's not really what's bothering me.

My question is - what's so scary about saying "hi"? Is it the possibility that someone might then take the conversation to the next step and say something like "what's your name?" Is this social anxiety (a psychological issue) or is it just a feeling of uncertainty (something we can address through social stories and practice)?

When we do practice social interactions, by the way, the result is the same: Tom acts as if I'm a new kid he's anxious about, and refuses to interact! Great method acting, but not especially helpful in the long run...



Aut-2B-Home
Power By Ringsurf

Any Advice on Bikes and Autism...?!!

Tom never really learned to ride a tricycle. In past years, we used a "tagalong" attached to an adult bike, and that worked reasonably well. Now that he's 12, I've used a rented tandem... but at $25 for a half day it's a pretty pricey option.

I decided to try to teach him to ride a bike.

He agreed.

We tried on grass. He fell. The grass was wet. He melted down completely.

We tried on a tennis court. He fell. He didn't even scratch a pinky. He melted down completely, burst into tears, stamped his feet, and ran away.

Now, we COULD try training wheels - but with a 5 foot tall 12 year old??

We COULD quit, but we have a 12-mile long bike trail going in just down the road, and it'll be a fabulous route through tidal marshes, woods, cranberry bogs... I am NOT going to miss out on that, and I want Tom to enjoy it too.

Any thoughts much appreciated!


Aut-2B-Home
Power By Ringsurf

Whale Watch - Yikes!

We've been on whale watches here on Cape Cod for the past two summers, and they were WONDERFUL! So when we were gifted a freebie whale watch off Provincetown this summer, we were all psyched up. The weather was "iffy," but after driving over an hour and seeing glimpses of sun peeking out, we climbed aboard the little boat with high spirits.

Now, the folks at the ticket office DID say it was a bit rough out there - and they DID offer dramamine. But they did NOT tell us "if you stand on top of the boat you will be utterly soaked because we are heading into 4-6 foot waves!" Naturally, we hadn't brought towels or new clothes (nor did anyone else) - and it was a helluva ride.

Lucky for us, we all have pretty tough stomachs. But of the four of us only Tom truly, truly HATES fast amusement park rides and roller coasters. And this was like an hour-long roller coaster ride with no way off! The poor kid was panicked and in tears almost all the way out... and we were stuck outside because there was NO WAY we'd be able to make it down the stairs without killing ourselves.

Finally, we got out to the Stellwagon banks, where the whales feed. Lucky for everyone, a lovely humpback decided to perform for us - doing full-body leaps out of the water, rolls, and flipper waves. But in the past we'd stayed out on the banks for 45 minutes or so, observing lots of whales. This time, just the one. Tom did tearfully watch and say "it's cool" - he really is a huge whale fan.

The way back, fortunately, was smoother. And, though we're not ABA parents we DID offer a big reward to both kids for great behavior. By the time we were back on shore, Tom was totally over his fears and all was right with the world. The sun had come out, and we watched the gorgeous dunes and light houses slide past...

An amazing thing, how Tommy can absolutely freak out one minute, and be over it the next... He talked about it a bit later, but in fact - at soon as the waves ceased, his anxieties did too.

Aut-2B-Home
Power By Ringsurf

A Running Race - Ups and Downs

Each year, our new hometown runs a major road race. 10,000 people from around the world compete, and many more watch. The town runs a kids' fun run, and Tom took part (Sara did too).

Prior to the race, I took the kids for a loooong walk, and we wound up at the tidal marsh across from our nearby beach. Sara was hot, and I gave her permission to take a swim in her clothes. Tom literally fell apart: Sara should NOT swim in her clothes, it was NOT all right, and he was going to sit himself down several hundred yards from the swimming and NOT BUDGE as a protest.

As we walked back, with a soaking Sara and a growling Tom, I asked what the problem really was. Was it that a rule had been broken? Tom said it was, and we talked about rules and breaking rules at length. Only later, when I talked with Peter about it, did I get another perspective: Peter's insight was that Tom simply couldn't abide the idea of wet clothes! Typically, Tom will change his pants if even the smallest drop of water hits them... Not sure which was true, but in the long run he sucked it up, ate an ice cream, and walked the mile and a half home with no complaints.

Later, we went to the race. This was a much bigger deal than I'd expected - with hundreds of people, loud music, hot sun, new foods.... naturally it was much harder for me than it was for Tom (who drank Gatorade for the first time and liked it - blech!) We met up (unexpectedly) with friends, which was great... But Tom's age group wound up having to RUN about 2/3 of a mile - much farther than he's ever run. He was up for it, but we weren't so sure.

Peter decided to jog along with Tommy, and together they finished the race - to great cheers from the audience (they came in half a length behind everyone but one other child). Tom was in tears - he had developed a stitch in his side - but at the very end he put on speed to cross the finish line.

Tom was proud; Dad was thrilled; Sara was supportive. Tom and Sara even got special pictures taken to commemorate the event.

I have to admit, though, that I had some strange feelings about this: the whole idea of a crowd cheering the "special" little boy was in such sharp contrast to his very real success at the concert the prior day. It just seemed so strange that the same boy who could play "The Barber of Seville" and "Take Five" on one of the toughest instruments out there - with MUCH older players - needed so much support just to finish a fun run, just didn't compute to me.

Maybe it's being 12 and on the verge of puberty, or maybe it's my own issues, but somehow Tom seems right now to be two different people. On the one hand, he's a bright and accomplished (and handsome!) kid who can do almost anything he chooses.

On the other hand, he's a special needs child who needs significant support to succeed in the most basic activities of life (carrying on conversations, managing simple changes in rules or routines, asking for help when it's needed).

Perhaps he's on the cusp of a big change - and it's up to us to be sure the change is in the right direction... eep.

Aut-2B-Home
Power By Ringsurf

A Musical Triumph - A Band Camp That Worked

Today, Tom (age 12) played his clarinet in a concert that marked the end of a two-week "band camp" program - and when it was over he came up to me with a beaming smile, saw my face, and said "You're thrilled!" I was.

The camp program, which included as many high school aged "staff members" as it did "campers," was mainly geared to middle school and high school kids with a serious interest in music. Out of about 30 kids, only two were younger than Tom - and most were much older. So far as I know, Tom was the only camper with "special needs," and the camp was in no way therapeutic: it was three hours a day of solid, intensive, challenging music instruction.

At the end, these kids were playing far above the usual junior high and high school level of performance. The pieces were truly challenging: "Take Five," "The Barber of Seville," "Phantom of the Opera," and so on. Tom is a solid clarinet player with some experience playing in bands - but he's never performed on this level.

What made this program work for Tom?

The bottom line for success wasn't knowledge of autism, specialized instruction or expensive aides. Instead it was, very simply, good teaching - and a knowledge of what makes kids tick.
George, the band leader in charge of the program, knew of Tom's autism. Joe, the woodwind instructor, learned about Tom's diagnosis on day one. Between the two of them, here are the simple, low-tech, highly effective steps they took to make the experience successful for Tom:

1. 
   
   
   Transposing the actual sheet music so that it reflected a 6th grade level of musical knowledge (clarinetists don't seem to play the upper register until they're older than Tom is)


2. 
   
   Spending a little one-on-one time with Tom to be sure he was truly reading and following the music.


3. 
   
   Seating Tom front and center in front of the conductor, and from time to time recalling his attention by saying his name.


4. 
   
   Occasionally seating a high schooler next to Tom to be sure he was following the more difficult music (apparently he was playing the flute part by ear instead of reading the clarinet part!)


5. 
   
   Providing regular high fives and encouragement (something all the students received throughout the two weeks)


6. 
   
   Focusing on the music rather than on acquisition of "appropriate social skills."

Both my husband Peter and I found ourselves thinking "If only the school district had put accommodations like this in place, we may never have needed to start home schooling!" But they didn't. And we did.

Parents and teachers may disagree with me, but I have a theory about why Tom has done so well in the last year with community inclusion.

This year, we placed him in typical small-group programs - including music, bowling, tennis, gym, and so forth - with instructors who had no training at all in working with kids with autism. But those instructors - Henry, George, Scott, Mike, Steve - were all men. Men teach differently from women: in general they're more focused on skills and outcomes than on process, more concrete in their directions, and less likely to worry about whether members of a group are sharing thoughts and feelings. For Tom, all these elements seem to be plusses.

Up until this year, Tom had never worked with men - mainly because there are so few males in educational or therapeutic roles, and everything he did involved teachers and therapists.

Every one of the men Tom has worked with this year has an agenda - but none of those agendas has anything to do with social skills, behavioral therapy or even making friends. Their agenda is focused on building skills and having fun. And Tom can do both. In fact, he does a terrific job at bowling, swimming, tennis, music and much more: his challenge is not the activity but social communication.

I'm not suggesting that Tom doesn't need help with social communication. And I'm certainly not suggesting that he will never again work with women (in fact, he will be working with a terrific female math tutor and a spectacular female speech therapist in the fall).

But I've got to say that community programs run by men and focused on real, meaningful outcomes have made a huge difference in our lives. And what really delights me is knowing that all of these activities - music, sports, hiking, birding, and more - can be a part of Tom's life for as long as he lives.

Aut-2B-Home
Power By Ringsurf

Why Great Teachers Are... Great!

Aut-2B-Home
Power By Ringsurf

Summer on Cape Cod. You really can't beat it! So far, it's been a great experience for us, and for Tom.

We started out with a week of YMCA daycamp for both Tom and his sister, and for the first time we dropped off and picked up with no special support provided for him. Two things made this easier: first, we were able to place him in the same group as Sara - and though he was the youngest in the group, it was a good match. Sara could help him as needed (not too often, really), and the expectations were slightly lower. Second, the YMCA staff already knew Tom from homeschool gym, and knew just what to expect - and the same staff worked in the camp as worked in the homeschool gym program.

After Y camp, we had a few weeks of mellowness (beaching, trying out a tandem bike - great for him, less great for me - and general Cape Cod exploring).

Tom's 12th birthday went adequately... we invited the boys from down the street; the cake and pizza went fine, but then Tom disappeared quietly into his room and we couldn't get him to join in the festivities for love nor money. Still, he got his "shopping spree" (with birthday money), which is always a great hit!

And THEN - Tom started in on his Sounds of Summer music camp. This is a two-week morning program offered at the local private school and run by the head of education for the Cape Cod Symphony. Most of the kids are older than Tom - he's 12, but some of them are high schoolers. We talked at some length with George, the camp director, and he had seemed to have no qualms about including an autistic clarinetist.

On the first day, it turned out that the instructor who was working with the woodwinds had NOT been informed of Tom's autism - but he was more than willing to talk with us at length about his needs. On the second day, Tom seemed to do much better, especially since George had kindly revised Tom's sheet music to the range that he's used to playing (12 year olds aren't taught the upper register on the clarinet!). On the third day, George was much more worried about the junior counselors and getting the trombones and timpani focused than he was about Tom - who was doing just great!

Today, I figured out just why he's doing so well.

With no fanfare whatever, George placed Tom front and center, in front of the conductor. When he's about to start the band playing, he makes sure Tom is paying attention - and when he isn't, he just says "Tommy!" and Tom is focused. When a part is especially tough, he has one of the junior counselors sit beside Tom, and help him follow the clarinet part (some of these pieces are tough even for the high schoolers!). As a result of all this, Tom is absolutely comfortable with camp, with the musical challenge, AND with the group - and his social anxiety seems to have lifted significantly. He doesn't chat with the older kids, but he's okay with asking for help, asking questions, smiling... Tomorrow is the Big Concert, and we're bringing presents.

Bear in mind that George has never been trained in special needs. He's just a very, very good teacher.

Sort of like the tennis teacher who's working with Tom now, 1:1, at the local tennis center. Scott says he likes working with all kinds of kids, and Tom is no exception The tennis was Tom's idea, so he's engaged and eager to play - and Scott says he's doing great. You can see why: he actually puts his hands on Tom's shoulders to show him where and how to stand and swing; he started off very easily so Tom could be successful. Now, Tommy is actually hitting the ball quite well; I'm hoping he'll be ready for a group experience in the fall.

This is what I'd hoped homeschool would be about: finding the right opportunities for inclusion, so that Tom could succeed in areas that had the potential to be important throughout his life. So far, so good.

"Does He Ever Warm Up?"

Today we took a trip to the Cape Cod National Seashore for Junior Ranger program. It was a perfect day, and there was a terrific group of homeschoolers ready to learn. This seemed like a great opportunity for Tom, who loves the beach, loves critters, and loves museums (like the one at the Visitor Center).


Here's Tommy, helping to measure an animal track as part of the program:

This is the kind of photo that makes me realize how easy it is to make a child appear "typically developing" (or "recovered") as opposed to "autistic."

You can clearly see how well Tom (at the left) is cooperating with a peer in an age-appropriate activity. He's measuring, discussing tracks and tracking...

But in fact, he's doing it entirely on his own. Even the friendliest overtures from the boys he worked with led to real anxiety... which in turn led to some pretty snippy responses ("no, I DON'T want to trade measuring tapes!").

It made it all come home for me when the boy with the cast (on the right) asked me quietly - "does he ever warm up?"

Money and Autism - How Do You Make the Connection?

This weekend, for the first time, I took the kids Yard Saling. It being Memorial Day weekend on Cape Cod, there were pickings aplenty, and I told the kids they could buy just one thing at each sale.

At the first house, we found a terrific tub of stuffed toys; each child picked one out and spent a quarter apiece.

At the second house, though, there were few worthwhile items... Tom decided, though, that he HAD to buy something - and picked out a jigsaw puzzle in a plastic baggie. Now, Tom has never, ever put together a puzzle, nor has he shown any interest in puzzles. What's more, there wasn't even an interesting picture on a box to grab his imagination. He just wanted to spend his money.

I nixed the deal. One second later, he had dissolved in tears. He told me I had done a wrong thing to him, and hurt his feelings, and that he was very very angry. Naturally, I got angry too, and ordered both kids into the car.

Despite all the frustrations, though, we still followed the sign to "just one more" flea market. There, we found several great buys - including a bag of toys that really were just right for Tom, and a $5 bicycle for Sara! I also picked up an almost-new blanket for Tom's bed, since his old blanket was falling apart.

The next day, Tom had earned a dollar for helping around the house and he was desperate to spend it on something... anything. Again we stopped at a Flea Market. Again it was basically a collection of junk. Again I told him "no," and again he dissolved in tears.

It seems to me that money SHOULD offer a wonderful opportunity for homeschooling around math, culture, values, and so forth. But for most kids the idea of saving for one big thing holds a lot of fascination. For Tom, even the tiniest object - a 50 cent plastic toy at Walmart - is just as exciting as, say, a Wii or an X-Box. There's no point in saving if there's nothing to save FOR - and no point in putting your money away if a broken pen is an object of desire.

We've tried allowances and earning, and of course he's glad to get the cash. He's allowed to go on a "shopping spree" with the money at hand for his birthday, and we do a subtraction exercise to keep him on track.

But overall, his sense of the value of money is ... zero. He can count change, but the IDEA of a dollar means very little. He can price a toy, but sees no difference in relative value. Since he prizes things that are valueless to others, he can collect an infinite amount of "valuable" junk for no money at all.

So far, I can't come up with any clever ideas for making money matter to Tom... nor can I envision him becoming savvier about relative values of objects since everything and nothing is all the same to him.

Any thoughts?!

This 'n' That

It's been such a long time since I wrote that I'm a bit overwhelmed by the idea of catching up! A few highights:

We took a ten-day trip to visit our old home in Pennsylvania, and friends and family were all very impressed with Tom's progress. We even made it all the way to DC, and visited the Lincoln Memorial and a few other "sights." Sara revisited her old friends and school; Tom adamantly did NOT wish to see kids he'd known - which was just fine with us! Instead, we spent plenty of time with various folks he DID want to see, and avoided worrying our heads about explaining homeschool to Tom's old teachers!

I set up a homeschool visit to the home/studio of a weaver in Cataumet (Bourne, just north of Falmouth). It was a surprisingly good experience, and Tom really enjoyed it. In fact, despite the fact that he said he WOULD NOT try weaving, he DID try weaving on the big loom - three times. Came home with a little blanket for Lizard! I was proud because this was the very first time I'd set up a successful homeschool happening that included a number of families (I think six families came) - and it turned out to be a positive experience for all. Whew!

We worked hard on a series of paragraphs about the Human Body, and supported our reading and writing with some hands-on experiments (not especially well-received, but I gave it a shot); a few videos and websites; and a trip to the Human Body exhibit at the Science Museum in Boston (below). Gotta say that what he REALLY loves at the MOS is the amazing Rube Goldberg device (balls moving through an incredibly complex and beautiful contraption); a few dioramas; and of course the traveling exhibit on ... reptiles! Still, we did get a chance to explore the body a bit.

Once we had three paragraphs on various systems of the body (I used graphical organizing templates from various websites) I realized I had the makings for a proper five paragraph essay. We did produce one, and he does understand the content - but I'm not at all sure that the structure makes a whole lot of sense to him. Still, it's a start - and a legit sample to include in his portfolio...

Did read the Daniel Tammet book you all suggested (Born on a Blue Day). Fascinating guy, but NOTHING like Tom. Tom is so arts-and-music, where true aspies seem to be all structures-and-math... Tom is story-and-sound effects, no interest in systems... that's why I just don't think Asperger syndrome fits him.

Meanwhile, thinking a lot lately about the whole notion of community and friendships... a friend down the road said she wanted to present her aspie son's IEP team with the idea that she wants her son to have "a community." I really had to wonder - can ANYone guarantee a community? And if "anyone" can - should that anyone be a public school? I myself have rarely felt "in community" with more than one or two people at a time... somehow doesn't seem like a basic entitlement like learning to read is...

More on this soon, I hope!

Synethesia: Strange Confluence of Sight, Sound, and Mind

This is just so freaky and amazing, I have to share it.

After reading a few lines in a book about something called synethesia, I got interested. Apparently, quite a few people have an odd brain wiring such that letters, numbers, and/or musical notes are linked with colors. When they see a letter or number, and/or hear a musical note, they "see" a particular color in their minds.

Apparently, this odd quality is particularly common among people with autism.

On a whim, I asked Tom if he sees colors when he plays notes on the piano. Oh, yes, he said, he does!

C=red
D=orange
E=yellow
F=green
G=blue
A="pink"
B=violet

I drew a series of dots in the colors he gave me, and aked him to play them on the piano. He played Frere Jacques flawlessly.

I looked up synethesia, and found that there's a close link between synesthesia relative to music - and perfect pitch.

It wasn't until today that I realized something else: the series of colors Tommy gave me is consistent with the achronym ROY G BIV. For anyone who's studied optics or astronomy, that acronym will be familiar: it's the colors of the optical spectrum, the order they appear in a prism, or in a rainbow. The only "off" color was pink - and that's because the correct color is "indigo."

Tommy has never heard the word "indigo."

Does anyone know anything more about this amazing collection of coincidences? I've emailed a couple of researchers in the field of synesthesia, but nothing so far!

Arts and Crafts: A "Native American" Loom

This winter, we focused on colonial America and the Wampanoag indians. I can't say all the readings and maps were a huge hit, but we did create a home made "native american" loom which Tom used to make a mini-blanket -- and THAT was a surprisingly successful idea. As you may know, kids with autism aren't known for their fine motor skills, and Tom's drawing and handwriting attest to that. But in this case, interest overcame potential frustrations!

We used a process described below (you'll find it on EdHelper) - and Tommy stuck with the project for several days until it was complete. Later, we visited a local arts center, and he was fascinated by a full-scale loom that "lives" there. To follow up, I've made a date to visit the weaver's studio!

In this picture, Tom is starting to create his loom with the help of speech therapist Kathleen Florance.

Cutting slits to make the loom

Weaving

The final product: a blanket for "Kitten"

Partial Instructions From EdHelper.com

2) Cut a 5" by 8" piece of cardboard for each student. Mark short lines a half inch apart
along the 5" wide section on the top and bottom. Draw a line one half inch in from
the top and bottom. Cut slits at the marks. (see photo) The loom can be made
slightly larger for older students, or if the student wishes to make a pouch. The
finished fabric will be about 1" shorter and 1" narrower than the size of the loom.

3) Thread the warp. Take a piece of yarn and put it into a slit at one corner, leaving a
3"-4" piece of yarn on the back of the cardboard, you can tape it into place if needed.
Bring the yarn down the front of the cardboard piece and into the slit at the bottom.
Then bring it back up in the slit next to it. Now bring the yarn back to the next slit on
the top edge of the loom, put it into the slit. Bring it back to the front using the slit
next to it, and so on. The warp yarn should be pulled snug as it is being threaded,
but not so snug that it bends the cardboard.

4) Cut some cardboard rectangles 2 inches by 1 inch wide to make shuttles for the
yarn. Wrap a 3 ft to 6 ft piece of yarn around the shuttle. Then begin weaving by
gently pulling up on every other thread and passing the yarn beneath it. Then head
back again, making sure to go under every warp thread that has a thread over it. At
the end of each row, tug on the yarn gently only, or the warp yarns will get pulled out
of place. Also after each row is complete, push the yarn up snug against the
previous rows.

5) When changing colors of yarn, simply weave the end of the yarn into the design, and
then start a new color.

6) When getting to the bottom inch of the weaving, the yarn can no longer be wound on
the shuttles, and will simply need to be woven with fingers. Continue to push the
yarn up snugly against the previous rows.

7) Remove the weaving from the cardboard. There will be loops at either end. A dowel
or stick can be threaded through the loops to make a hanging, or the threads can be
gently redistributed to fill in the loops. This is part of the reason why they need to be
pushed snugly against each other during the weaving.

Biography Fair!

We learned through the web that our local homeschool community was going to have a "biography fair," and it sounded like a great way to exercise Tom's special interest in certain picture book authors. His favorites are Eric Carle and Ezra Jack Keats -- but his most favorite EVER picture book writer is Robert McCloskey (Make Way for Ducklings, Blueberries for Sal, etc.).

The fair was a simple concept: each kid picks a person and creates a trifold poster about that person. Then they turn up, set up the poster, and wander around.

We spent a lot of time on the web finding pix of book covers, info about McCloskey, and more pix of the ducklings at Boston Garden; the swan boats; blueberries. We "recreated" the cover of the book Time of Wonder, and Peter and I constructed a moving sailboat (Tom made the sailboat, we did the engineering). It is SO tough to have a kid do all the work, especially when it's going to be a presentation, and truth is... we just didn't have the whatever it is we needed to stand back and just watch...

Hopefully, that's ok?!

Toughest part of the project was writing about McCloskey himself, and about his books. Tom's inclination at this point is to tell everything he knows about anything he's asked about. As a result, you get an entire retelling of each story (no "main idea"), and long narrative about watching a video about McCloskey, and going to Maine, and going to the top of a mountain and looking at the islands, and you could see this and that... I had him narrate, and helped him organize his thoughts - but I know a lot of the process was outside his capabilities at this point.

Anyway - went to the fair, and he did a WONDERFUL job telling folks about his work, looking at others work, and passing out the Valentine's candies we'd brought. We even got a certificate for being a part of the event.

Best, of all, a photographer was there -- and Tom got his picture taken for the local news website!

Homeschool Gym

I like the YMCA. Ever since I started working for a client who does fundraising for YMCA's, I've been impressed. They don't just spout values: they teach them. They don't just talk about inclusion: they do it. When I wanted a camp program for kids with autism, I went to the Y. They created one. It wasn't the ultimate therapeutic program - it was a YMCA daycamp that supported kids with autism.

So, even though it's a half-hour drive, I immediately signed up when I saw homeschool gym offered at a nearby YMCA.

And, by golly, my optimism was validated.

These guys are AWESOME. A Y staffer named Mike actually got Tom (and two "typically developing" boys) to "head" soccer balls, pass to team mates, and even try to steal the ball. Then a staffer named Eric got Tom swimming laps, practicing strokes, and taking his turn on the water slide.

True, Tom is a little different... he flaps a bit here and there... he's not the world's best athlete.

But guess what? He actually had a terrific time.

Leaving me TWO HOURS a week to ... oh, say, work out at the YMCA!

When It Comes to Homeschool and Autism - What's the Goal?

This question has really been plaguing me recently. Many homeschool books (and educational advocates) say you should have a vision for your child. You know - that he should achieve X by Y time... that he should have these skills, live this type of life, etc. That way, even if the vision changes, you can still measure your progress based on SOMETHING.

I resisted this idea for the longest time, becaue the whole idea of "steering" my kids just got under my skin. But for Tommy, it does seem important to know what I'm pushing toward.

One day, I think "this child has what it takes to be a real musician. and it's up to me and his dad to find the opportunities and to push him forward." When I think that way, I focus on getting him to the point where he can really manage situations independently; pass tests; manage people; and, of course, excel in music. I look for ensemble groups, and imagine preparing him for auditions for the Boston Symphony Youth Orchestra.

The next day I think, "if this child can just carry on a conversation for more than two exchanges without reverting to a monologue about his imaginary lizard, it will be a miracle!" Then I focus on social skills training, life skills, and teaching "math you can use."

So which is it? And it's not good enough to see "let's see where life takes him," because we're the folks in charge of deciding what life will actually OFFER!

One big problem with having specific goals (like music school) is that it assumes certain passions on Tom's part that I'm not sure are there. Sure, he enjoys playing clarinet, and he's better than the average 5th grader. But it's not because of a passion for music (at least I don't think it is). Rather, I believe he plays well because he has perfect pitch, and because he enjoys practicing. And he seems to enjoy practicing mostly because it's an anxiety-reducing activity. It reduces anxiety because he KNOWS what it takes to get the music right.

But he doesn't play piano or clarinet on his own. We always have to tell him it's time. He's always a little reluctant to go to lessons, or to the "hot jazz group."

So is it just a hobby? Or is it a career direction? Should we be pushing the life skills - or the academics? Should we be coaching him to fit expectations - or to follow his own path? I know that all these things are important, but a schedule that includes EVERYTHING could give us all anxiety attacks!

Bottom line: when it comes to homeschool and autism, what matters most?